I am Surviving a Japanese Game Show II

I noticed in my last post that I described Japanese game shows, but failed to say how I am actually surviving them. Of course there are challenges I wrote about before like The Toilet Flush Fip-out or You Want Me To Eat What? Here are a few examples of lesser known ways of how being a foreigner is like being in a game show.

• The Granny Dodge - I am big blond foreigner in Japan, as well at the mother of the World's Cutest Baby. Therefor I often get approached by strangers who want to see this odditiy. In "The Granny Dodge" at any given moment half a dozen older ladies will surround me and begin to pinch Baby-san's little feet, all the while gabbering away saying things like "He is so cute", "How old is he?", "Where did he get this red hair?", "Can I take him home and marry him off to my granddaughter?", etc. The trick comes in being able to guess if they are expecting an answer and then being able to provide the correct answer quickly before the pinching leaves bruises and claustrophobia sets in. But to be a first place winner of the game, before they reach us I can dodge, dip, duck, dive and dodge or try to outrun them. I am a plus size woman with a baby strapped to her, so while the sight of me being chased down the road by a gaggle of grandmothers might give viewers a giggle or two, so I will be doing the former.
• Subway Surfing- This is a game that can be played in many metropolitan areas. When entering the subway car do not take one of the many seats given up by business-boys. (I know this is hard to tell in writing, this comment is just reeking of sarcasm. Come on boys, can't you see this baby strapped to me?!? If we'd been in Eastern Europe I could count on some babushka granny to wallop you with her umbrella as she chewed you out commenting on how young people had the decency to give up their seats when your mother was carting you around when you couldn't even get the snot out of your nose and she had not survived two wars to see her country come to to this. So get your fanny out of the seat for this mother and her adorable red haired baby whose dimpled cheeks I must pinch. No, I am in Japan where public chastisement ranks up there with mooning the President.) Anyway back to the game. In subway surfing, the contestants stand in the middle of the train without holding on to any handles and keep their balance for as many kilometers as possible. Bonus points for people who, during rush hour, can keep their balance and read a book AND keep their hands from being into other contestants' personal spaces.
  
• Mini Mini - In some Japanese game shows you will see adult men and women peddling a tricycle with all their might, knees bouncing off chins as they go. As a five foot eleven person, the trick is to maneuver around things that are designed for folks who might not be tall enough to go on all the Disney rides. Clothing stores are to be avoided at all costs, as is anything with sleeves, pant legs and hemlines. When on the bus you must be the first to reach that one seat stretching across the back and has a spot with actual leg room. And the winner has to be the contestant who can hold a bag of groceries, answer their cellphone, insert the door key in a lock that is eye level with your knee, and not bang your noggin on low ceilings.
• Supermarket Scramble - In a country where the writing resembles modern interpretive art more than an actual alphabet, it is amazing when you come home with what you'd planned to buy. Is that mayonnaise in the squeeze bottle, or some kind of tofu puree? Is that a bag of cabbage or kelp? And really, what is that white box with the blue writing and a stream of liquid being poured out? The real winner is the one who brings nothing home and goes to the neighborhood noodle shop for dinner.
  
  

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

The Purest Artform

One of the things about throwing up every other evening (I haven't mentioned this in like a whole post yet, I think I must be getting better), I have been watching more mindless TV. The other night My Sweet and I watched a hilariously serious documentary called Air Guitar Nation. Every year a college town in Finland holds the World's Airguitar Championship.

These are the rules for entering this contest: The artist's instrument must be INVISIBLE.
There you have it. Everything else is a go.
But what makes a winner, you may be asking. Well, I will tell you.
* These young men and women must dig deep into their soul to discover and show their Airness.
* They must realize that air guitar is the last pure art form.
* Someone may steal your guitar, but they can never steal your air.

Check out the first ever American competitor - C-Diddy - as he performs in the US East Coast semifinals.


Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Projects Done

Well, I said that this isn’t going to make this an All-Baby-All-The-Time blog. However I wanted to share this with you because I am quite proud of it. The baby bootie is my first 3-D crochet project. You see, my friends think that I am a real wiz with the hook, but I really have only a few things I do pretty well, mostly scarves and afghans (which are in a way big scarves). Plus I can talk a good game so it is not too hard to bluff my way around. Fortunately one of the things I can do is read a pattern, so with some patience and time spent not throwing up, I was able to puzzle this out.

Now as you can see, there is only one bootie. This is because I did do a few other things last weekend. Friday was the annual My Town Holiday, which My Sweet and I decided to celebrate once the heat came down. Man, there were some people doing some scrounging around out there. I bet those things will show up at some nearby flea market pretty soon. More power to them – they were working much harder than I want to on a holiday. Amongst the cute bowls and slightly scratched plant stands, I found two jewels that I can not believe someone didn't find room to take with them. They are, get this, Lord of the Rings Monopoly (missing only missing the special Ring playing piece), and end of second season of Lost jigsaw puzzle. Can you believe it!?! Me neither! My Sweet and I spent a good chunk of the weekend putting the puzzle together. That is when I wasn’t in the bathroom experiencing the “pains in childbearing”.

I actually wrote the article last Sunday, and would have posted it then except for one little thing. Since hooking up with My Sweet, a professional and recreational computer type of guy, I can become more and more computer retarded. I could not figure out how to suck the pictures from the camera to the computer to where I can upload it. Not that I am mentally too incompetent to figure it out. It is just so much easier to have him do it –zip, zip, zip. Several years ago the first of my friends got married. Over coffee one morning she told me, “It’s funny, since getting married Ivan has forgotten where the kitchen is and I can no longer lift anything over ten pounds.” This coming from an extremely independent woman whose favorite verb tense is the imperative (that is the technical term for giving a command for all the non English geeks out there). Hopefully I will be able to over come this significant-other-can-do-it-easier-it is. But for now I am just trying to overcome the feeling of nauseousness. (Have I mentioned throwing up yet?) Do you know I have actually lost some weight! I can hardly weight until going to the all you can eat Korean BBQ will pay off.


Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Hitchhikers Around the Galaxy Unite

How could I have missed this day?!? This is what I get for not having a computer to surf for these important events.

Check out DodKat's faithfulness to this holiday.

Man, next year I plan to talk like a pirate, pop some bubble wrap, and carry me a towel!

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

The Manilow

When I was a child I developed two characteristics. One is that once I find something I like, I will stick with it. The other is that I have always been a step behind in just about everything. Hence my glee at the return of peasant blouses and the reason I scan store catalogue hoping beyond hope that bellbottoms or acid wash will come back. It also explains why all during the 80’s and even now I am a Barry Manilow fan. When I was 12 I discovered that sappy ballads and powerful key changes hit my heart. So the whole Las Vegas trip was a birthday present to take me to see the man who knew exactly what I was feeling when those dumbass boys were stupid enough to let me go!

Now I know that Barry appeals to a different part of people than say BB King or Mozart, but I love the fact that he does not take himself too seriously and has fun with the cheese factor in his performance. Besides, his songs actually have melody and lyrics that do touch something very human inside of us all.

But the best part of the show happened after the encore. I met Tony. He didn’t tend bar, he was an 82 year old usher who was simply charming.

"Do you know that that blond boy is Barry Manilow? Yes, it is true. The people last night, they didn’t know."

When Fellow Fanilow asked him to give me his Barry Manilow button as a birthday present, he responded…

"My button? You want my button? You’re half my age. Elton John, now he as two buttons – here and here."(Putting his hands on his backside.)

Well, thanks to Fellow Fanilow, I now have a very nice button. I also have an understanding of the multi tiered slot machine. If you get two cherries, an orange, three pineapples and one Carmen Miranda – that is good. But if it is two Carmens, one cherry, one orange and a fruit basket is not good. Or wait, maybe it is if Carmen is staring at you cross-eyed that you win, or lose. Maybe I have a lot more to learn before I getting into the super secret high stakes games.


Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Viva Las Vegas

The birthday weekend got off to a surprisingly good start – beginning at the airport where doodah!, Fellow Fanilow and I met a lovely semi-retired anesthesiologist who lives in Vegas. I say semi-retired because there is a doctor that she has partnered with for many years who moved his practice to the foothills of California. Whenever he has a serious surgery he flies her in for the day. I guess with the pressure of surgery, you’d want someone you know and trust on the keeping-the-patient-out-but-not-dead end of things. All I’ve got to say is that the money had better be pretty darn good because the flight’s an hour and a half and the drive is more than another couple of hours. Anywho, she gave us the lowdown on the place locals go for a weekend buffet – the same food as the casinos on the strip but only a third the price. She also let us know that if you are going to see Cirque Da Sole, while both are dazzling, Mystere has a better storyline than O and is more elegant. So put that in the corner pocket of your mind for future getaway plans.


After we got our rental car (which we lovingly referred to as our muscle gangsta car) and checked into our room – which had little munchkins bouncing off the walls hopped up on lollipops (get it, munchkins…lollipops…) – it was 2:30 AM and we were starving and buzzed on over stimulation. So off to the Bellagio Café for a super late night supper. Easy-peasy, right? Ha! Vegas may be eager to fill your every whim when you are in the super secret high stakes Kino game room (I know they exist somewhere, I know they do dang nab it), but if you are an ordinary couple of Janes wanting a BLT at 3 AM you’re going to have to learn the lessons of waiting. Not only did it take three people to get customers to their tables and take orders, the wait staff had an unwritten rule that they were not to communicate with each other verbally (it probably throws gamblers off their mojo) so they have some Helen Keller strung out on crack hand signal system, which no one understood and had to walk over and whisper in the other’s ear. If they point three fingers in the air while facing east and flicking the wrist clockwise means seat these two people away from the kitchen door and get them water with ice. A counterclockwise flick of the wrist means no ice.

But the best part of the night came as we were standing outside with middle aged men and their, well lets just assume they are their daughters. As we were languishing in line, this guy with a white satin tracksuit with teal writing and his friend came strutting in past the hostess and two assistants, totally ignoring the hand signals. A flurry of staff stumbled over themselves shooing him back to the front. Let’s pick up the dialogue here:

Tracksuit Man: Do you know who I am?
Mousey Hostess: No sir, but you have to wait until the others have been seated.
TM: Do you know who I am? We are RF & BD, (which sounded like r f’n bd, as in real f’n big deal). I wait for nobody. Get Tom on the line and you’ll find out I don’t wait for nobody.

I don’t know who Tim was, but he got RF & BD a table, sitting just far enough away from us that we got to see him periodically stand up, take off his jacket and walk past the mirrors admiringly flexing his muscles – all for our entertainment. We would have taken a picture, but I think he knew people who could hurt us and make it look like an accident.　But anytime you feel frustrated and that you deserve better, feel free to shout out, "I'm RF'NBD and I don't wait for nobody!"

Coming up next, the Music and Passion.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Me and Elvis

One month ago two incredibly dear friends took me on the ride of my life to celebrate my 40th birthday. Yes that is right, the big four-oh. By the way, I am to tell you that my mother, who is too young to have a child this old, adopted me when I was 20 and she was 14 years old.

So where did we go, you may ask? Was it to the raging nightlife of Boise? Duluth? Omaha? These are all very fine cities in their own right. But for a milestone birthday we headed for the bright lights of the Los Vegas Strip.

There were a few goals that we had:
1) Convince someone to let us be brides maids at their Las Vegas Chapel-o-Love wedding.
2) Find an Elvis. We got so busy that goals one and two dropped down on the things-we-gotta-do list. However, I found out that the head of our math department was hitched at the Vegas Graceland Chapel where you can have your choice of Elvis, gold lamé young Elvis and the flashy, sequined, 70's cape and jumpsuit Elvis, perform the wedding.
3) Visit all the places in Ocean's 11
and quote as many lines as possible. Fortunately the only line I can remember is, "If you don't shut up I am going to eat your whole head."
4) And the major reason we went to Vegas is to see The Man in action. Yes, I am talking about Berry Manilow. What can I say, he writes the songs that make the whole world sing.

There is more to come. So please stay tuned.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Elvis and Me

I am off to Vegas Baby for a girls' weekend and a milestone birthday. Plus we are on the hunt for the quintessential Elvis-wannabe. More stories to come.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Switchfoot Quiz

I have a few friends who are true fans and I also totally enjoy them. If you haven't heard them, check them out here. I love their philosophy. They are people who believe in Jesus with all their hearts and are seeking to make the world a more positive place. However they do not want to be limited to being a Christian band. Having had to tell students to turn off music that talks about slapping women and beating up police, I am over the moon that there are some bands that they listen to which may encourage them to see the the good things God has put into life.

Your switchfoot song is 68%

Meant to Live, This song depics how we as human were meant to live for some much more and you wonder if you've lost you self!

wich switchfoot song are you
Create a Quiz

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

MASH

What do you think of when you see MASH? The award-winning movie staring Donald Sutherland as a wacky Korean War doctor? The Emmy winning TV show with darling Alan Alda? Or do you remember getting together with your girlfriend in the playground to foretell who you will marry and how you will live? Would you live in a Mansion, an Apartment, a Shack or a House? My friend Dot-Kat found a way to play MASH on line.


I tried this on line game, but for some reason it wouldn’t narrow down my choices to just one. This so reflects my personality! Maybe it means I still have some major live changes awaiting me. I will at one point be living in a shack and at another point I will have a house. I hope the shack is first! However, I will be living in Hawaii and Italy. So to be honest a shack in either of those places is none to shabby. Having a shack on the beach in Hawaii could fit the whole Moondoggie surfer/beach bum scene.

And what will I be doing with my life? Well thank you for asking. I will not be trudging about in some cubicle cutting out Dilbert comics and replacing the characters names with those of my coworkers. No, I will be working for World Vision, a columnist and a novelist. Sitting in front of my shack watching the waves and typing out witty observations of life sounds like a dream come true for me right now.

I will be tootling around the islands or the streets of Naples in one of the following: an Aston Martin, Herbie the Love Bug(the 1969 version), Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or the truck from the Beverly Hillbillies. I just hope the silver Aston Martin is in Italy and the truck is the dust colored one.

When they asked about husbands, I did not put My Sweet. As much as I love him, what is the fun in that? For this I am going to throw out a possible time line. First I will marry Jack Bower, who for the sake of national security will have to make the gut wrenchingly difficult decision to fake his death and go into hiding. Of course he will love me so much that he will not let me in on this secret for my own safety. Them I will hook up with Sawyer, who will be my bad boy with a hidden heart of gold, but he will have commitment issues. Finally Hugh Jackman will sweep me and my 3-10 children (you can't work for World Vision and not adopt a few of them) off our feet and we will live happily ever after.

Play the game yourself and let me know what the future holds for you.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Reader Quiz

I got this quiz from Plain and Simple.

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Dedicated Reader You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more.
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Book Snob
Literate Good Citizen
Fad Reader
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

I find its pretty much true for my attitude.

Take the quiz yourself and let me know what kind of reader you are.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Things I am told to say

There are a few things that people have told me recently that they told me to put on my blog. And of course I always do what I am told, so here it goes.

FROM MY HUSBAND'S STRANGE LAND

TV novellas are just starting to hit the US airwaves, but they have been in place for quite a while in Mexico, and of course Japan. My Sweet has just had me watch the entire 15 hours, sorry 12 episodes, of a series called "Densha Otoko" (Train Man). It is about a totally sweet anime geek who musters up the courage not only to stop a beautiful woman from being mauled by an obnoxious drunk, but he also stuttered out a request for a date. The sweet thing is that Densha has an on line community where he pours out the honesty in his heart, and they help him step out of his geek-dom in order to get the girl, and then to embrace the action figure-collecting, voice-actor worshiping, comicon-season-ticket-holding geek that he is. And there are a surprising number of romantic lines where I slap my husband's knee and ask him why he doesn't say things like that.

But tell me this, why is it always the geek guy who gets the gorgeous girl? (How do you like this for a piece of alliteration?) Why not the geek girl going for the hunk? Or a couple enjoying their geek-appeal together? The answer has to be more than the male-dominated industry. I mean at least a third of the audience, who the sponsors need to appease, is female geek.

OBVIOUS METAPHORS

The other day I was meeting with a wonderful group of spiritually passionate women. (And I am not just saying this because I hope they are going to read and comment on this!) In the course of dinner and discussion I made a few metaphorical references. Refreshing Sunshine said that I had better put them in my blog. So here they are:

Comparison 1)Sheep are creatures that are not phased when one of their own is killed - much like us sometimes. But as soon as I said it, I knew it was cutting but not entirely true. The sheer numbers of massacres like in Darfur overwhelms us, but we also feel powerless to help. But we will encourage the hunting down a murderer and demand justice. And if the criminal is super rich and can buy off the system, we make it so uncomfortable that they leave the country.

Comparison 2)Figs are in their growing season right now. They are sweet and succulent, but the season is short. Once a fig tree was in trouble for falsely implying that it was in season, like it had it all together and could bring sustenance and sweetness. When we pretend that we have no trouble and all the answers, when we give out junk or fluff, that is when we are to be shamed.

Now here is a challenge for you. Think of Forrest Gump: Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you have until you take a big old bit out of it.

Take a word from group A and one from group B.

Group A
life
love
man
woman
education
TV
music
(your choice)

Group B
autumn
Disneyland
a mud puddle
a pair of shoes
Tarzan
earthworms
skydiving
(your choice)

Plug your choices in here and finish the sentence. Be sure to put your metaphor as a comment.

(Word A) is like (Word B) because ...

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Fun and Games

I refrained from doing this at work. Pesky grading and lesson plans.

But if you need a break, enjoy. I now truly know that I will not be slaying a wild boar and living to tell about it. On another post I will try to talk about Lost as a TV show that expresses redemption and repentance better than many sermons I have heard.


Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

What Fall are You?

I love autumn, and thought this would be fun, but it is kind of depressing.

You Are Changing Leaves

Pretty, but soon dead.

What Part of Fall Are You?

I liked this one better.

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you. Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible. While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks. Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.

What Color Green Are You?

But I took it again and got this answer

You Are Olive Green

You are the most real of all the green shades. You're always true to yourself. For you, authenticity and honesty are very important... both in others and yourself. You are grounded and secure. It takes a lot to shake you. People see you as dependable, probably the most dependable person they know.

What Color Green Are You?

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

My Music Taste

Look at the nifty function my pal doodah! showed me how to do! Well, her plus a lot of help from My Sweet.

I saw this on another blog.
Give it a try. I think this says that I have no taste. Or at least low taste.

Your Taste in Music:

80's Rock: Medium Influence 80's Alternative: Low Influence 90's Alternative: Low Influence 90's Pop: Low Influence Classic Rock: Low Influence

How's Your Taste in Music?

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!