Desmond's Final Question

Desmond ended his interview this way:

Question five: What good books have you read in the last six months? (Feel free to go further back, if you like).
So there you have it. Please forgive me if any of the answers are obvious, and I just didn't pay attention when you answered them.
And, let me say that the general 'Joie de Vivre' tone of your blog is happily resonant for me. . .
Blessings. . .
PS - I'm also a big Larry Norman fan from way back. For one of my recent birthdays, my kids made me a 'Larry Norman Mix' CD. . .
And, Why Should the Devil Have All the Good Music?

My dear Desmond, I am a voracious reader. Before I decided to major in English, I took literature classes for fun. So I will limit myself to the last 10 books, many of them I have read since school let out. Now remember, this is summer reading – I was tempted to throw in some CS Lewis and documentary types of books to look brainy.

1. I am still reading Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller. I have liked his blunt challenge to live a faith-centered life in a very self-centered society.
2. I just finished The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri. I wanted to read the book before the movie comes out on DVD. (I have heard phenomenal things about the Bollywood actress who plays the mother.) Also, my favorite genre of stories is the interaction of immigrants and their children, their struggle to understand the class or mix of cultures and struggle for identity.
3. One Day More by Mitch Albom. This was a sweet read that makes you want to call your mother and say that you love her.
4. We Shouldn’t Even be Doing This by Bob Newhart. Hilarious! This isn’t so much an autobiography as it is a recollection of funny stories from his life, many of which made it into his stand-up acts. I laughed so much that I high tailed it to the library and borrowed “The Button Down Mind of Bob Newhart” album. Go out right now and get it!
5. Crochet Patterns in a Weekend- what can I say? Christmas is a mere 6 months away.
6. Luncheon of the Boating Party by Susan Vreeland. I went to hear her speak a while ago, and she was just a lovely lady – kind of the perfect library marm. For this book she did a lot of research into the lives of Renoir and the models he used for this painting, their relations with him and each other. I love that she shooed us like a goose to her display table that was filled with documents and “frippery” about the people in her book. However, my favorite book from this author is Girl in Hyacinth Blue, another book based on a famous painting. This one creates stories of the possible owners of the paining through the years.
7. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The next one is coming out soon and it refreshes my memory. And yes, people will see me at the movie dressed in my Muggle outfit.
8. In a Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson. This is a fun account of his travels across Australia. My goodness this is a dangerous land. And the Aussies are very proud of this fact!
9. Homespun Tales from America’s Favorite Storytellers. I think folktales are a delightful fabric of our culture that gets lost.
10. Gardening for Dummies. We have tried growing peas and potatoes for the first time in our garden. I have also found a way to kill every lavender plant I own, and it is supposed to be unstoppable. Well, leave it to me to stop them from living.


Does anyone want me to interview him or her? If so then tell me in the comment section and I will post questions. You then answer them in your blog. Most people answer them in one post, but I tend to run on and on. You answer them in the style you like. Also, if you don't have a blog, you can answer them in the comments section and I may publish them in a post.


Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Desmon's Fourth Question

Here is the next question in Desmond's interview.

Are there any unique challenges to having an inter-cultural, inter-racial marriage? Do you have any children?

None at all! That actually is the answer to your second question. My Sweet and I were married in February, and at our reception my mother came up to me and said, “Do you know what would make a great Christmas gift for me? A grandbaby!” Come on, the wedding cake wasn’t even cut yet!

Many of the challenges are ones that are typical for any two people – how to decorate the house, control of the remote control, should there be a computer or TV in the bedroom (I usually win the decorating except for the computer room, he gets the remote usually, and no – two things usually go on there and the electronic noise is conclusive to neither).

Probably the unique challenges come often from language barriers. Although My Sweet is quite fluent in English, it is still a second language. Sometimes I will say something all too clearly and he will not know the vocabulary/slang or be having a Bad English Day. And many times if he gets lost in a conversation, he will just tune out. This is one thing when it is a group conversation, but when he tunes out when it is just the two of us – ooh man does he get it when I finally figure it out!

One of the most irritating is stereotyping. “Americans are lazy”, “My country does such-and-such better,” “This country’s health insurance is nuts!” Now often he is right, but it is still irritating. And, he is just as likely to say something crazy about Japan (and one day I may do a post about this – including the weird things you can find in Japanese vending machines).

Anther difficulty, and some may say a blessing, is that my mother-in-law lives on the other side of the planet. This means I do not have to deal with the “You are not taking proper care of my boy” issues. But then again I do not really have much of a relationship with her and my sis-in-law. My Sweet and I are in a quandary about what to do when his mother gets too old to take care of herself. She will not move to America, nor would I want to displace an elderly woman to a place where she has no friends and can not speak the language. The oldest son is supposed to take care of his parents. But we cross this bridge when we get closer to it.

Well, the final question has to do with books, and I will have plenty to say about it in my next post.


Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Desmond's 3rd Question

Here is the next question from Desmond’s interview. This took me a while to think how to put into words something that is very heartfelt. So here is question #3.

In one of your previous comments on this blog, you mentioned having once belonged to a Christian community. Could you tell us more about that?

My Christian Community began in college with a campus Christian fellowship. It was a fabulous time of delving into the Bible and being challenged to live out the gospel with each other and our community. The things I learned as a child were being built upon with the intensity of being 20 and in college. We tested what was said in the Bible and were thrilled when we saw they were true.

Many of us started attending a new little church that was excited about God and had a strong belief that fellowship is like the communities in Acts chapter 2. We didn’t sell everything we had and share the money, but if we had something someone else needed, we gladly lent or even gave it to them. Did someone need to move? 20 people would show up on moving day, with half a dozen coming before to help clean so you can get your deposit back. Did someone need prayer? We would pray for hours if needed. Worship was intense. Trust built up to where you could share with several people your struggles and pain without judgment – but also know these people would help you seek God’s discernment. I went away for several years to work with a Christian organization, and when it was time to come back I purposely returned to this community.
Now there are as many explanations about why this church broke up as there are people involved. I am going to share my perspective and welcome comments from other members or friends of members to share their ideas.

As I mentioned earlier, I spent many years overseas attending churches where I barely spoke the language. Worship was awesome – God knowing the depth if the words I sung even more than I did. However the sermons were tough for me to follow. So, once I got lost, which was pretty quickly, I tuned out and meditated on the scripture passage. Even when I had translators, I was always analyzing what was said because I know things often got mixed up in translation. Once I came back to America, I kind of did the same thing even though the sermon was in English. More often than not I would tune out what the sermon said or take what the pastor said and analyze it until it made sense to me. Hence I didn’t really catch on to when the pastor started preaching things that were not really bad, but not Biblical.

Also, with as much desire as everyone had to love everyone for Christ, we were not growing as a church. Everyone was therefore doing everything, so if someone needed a break or sabbatical, there was no one to step up to the plate and you saw the ministry you put your heart and sweat into falter or die. There was a lot of guilt not to take a break. If any kind of long-term need came up we were too stretched to properly take on the challenge.

I would add to this issues I have with many churches. One is the lack of young men, especially single men in church and the causes behind that. Another is how single women are a kind of second class citizens who have to “be protected” like young children – regardless of their age or spiritual maturity.

Eventually the people in the top tier of leadership reached beyond their limit and either moved away of left for another church. There were deep wounds all around, and within a year the church denigrated. Most went to one of two churches in town, while a few “took a break” from church all together.

The remnant that chose the church I now attend has stayed together. When I get together with these people, even if it has been weeks or months, it is easy to get to heart issues because we have an old trust. There are several women, and by proxy their husbands, who keep in contact almost daily via group email. These emails share painful struggles and outrageous joys. One person shares how her kids often see her belt out in an operatic falsetto, “Lord, help me Jesus!”

These people, grounded in God, community and trust, help keep me sane when Jesus seems far away.


Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Desmond

A while back there was a blogger I loved reading because he usually challenged me to think. Since then he has closed his blog (miss you Desmond) but he still gives intriguing comments on blogs, so he is not totally gone. He began a process of getting to know readers by asking them questions, and here are the ones he asked me.

Desmond Jones said...

Just Me - Hi! Haven't seen you around in awhile

OK, let's see if I can come up with five questions worth your while to answer. . .

1) I'll start with the obvious one, since you went to all the trouble of laying it out there for me: What is a 'liturgical Pentecostal'? I'd be interested to hear about your religious/spiritual background more generally, and how it affects your life today.

I was fortunate enough to be raised in the church. My Dear Sweet Mother took us to the Lutheran Church where God met me at a very young age. Though I didn't really know it at the time, the repetition of the liturgy and scripture teachings grounded me deeply in God's word, and this formed the foundations that would provide me many answers throughout my life. When I went to college my main form of rebellion was to seek out something different in a fellowship. The one thing I felt was missing in the liturgical services was a passion in prayer and worship. It was here that I felt the power of the Holy Spirit and God's ability to answer prayers. Now I seek out churches that have a respect for the grounding of liturgy as well as a passion for seeing the Holy Spirit at work.


2) How did you meet Your Sweet, and how did the two of you decide to marry? (I don't know that I've ever said so, but most days, as I kiss Molly goodbye on my way to work in the morning, I say, "Farewell, my Sweet"; so we've got that in common, too ;) )

Now I work with high school kids and I love telling them that I met my husband when he was my student. They start hooting and hollering because they are thinking that he was a 17 or 18 year old. In truth he was 28 and I was 31.

When I went overseas, I specifically picked a mission organization where we taught in the public schools. So for four years I taught English as a second language and when I came back to America I got a job teaching English to internationals getting ready for college or grad school. It was great having in the same classroom Arabs, Japanese, Koreans and Brazilians. My Sweet was one of those students. While he attended my school, I never thought about him in that way – I have always put married men and students in that “don’t even think about going there” category. But after he graduated, he asked me to a party, and things went on from there. We dated for several years because I wanted to be more certain we could deal with issues of differences in culture and languages. Also, at the time My Sweet was spiritually seeking, but was not a Christian. I know that a person’s spiritual beliefs affect how they live their life and I had told My Sweet from the very beginning that I would not consider marrying him if he did not make his own commitment to Jesus. On New Years Eve he decided that Jesus was the one he wanted to be following, and a few months later we were married.

I want to take a bit more time to answer the other questions, so stay tunes.

As a final note I just want to say, “Thank you Bob Barker for bringing lightness and joy.”

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

50 things meme

It is my 50th blog, which by blog law I am requires me to do a 50 things meme. (If you have 50 posts but haven't done this, consider yourself tagged and get to it toot sweet!)


I did not feel like doing all 50 questions, so here are some.

Fifty Things Meme

1. My roommate and I once: hitch hiked with gypsies after exchanging money on the Romanian black market.

2. Never in my life have I: danced naked in a meadow at twilight. I think mosquito bites in delicate places discourages that idea.

3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile is: any one of my students - they drive me nuts, but can turn on the charm when they want to.

4. High school was: A blast - I knew where I was going, how the world was supposed to run, and if there was something I didn't know I knew where to get the answer.

5. When I'm nervous: I ramble and jump to random topics, and munch on very sweet or starchy things.

6. The last time I cried was: during the last sappy movie, commercial or TV show. My husband always looks at me during a sentimental part of a movie to see if I am tearing up.

7. If I were to get married right now, my bridesmaids would be: The same. But the flower girl would be my new niece (if it is not too un-cool for a teenager to do).

8. Would you rather run naked through a crowded place or have someone e-mail your deepest secret to all your friends? Any chance for an exhibition!

9. My hair: Is very fine and flat. I never know what to do with it. But I like being blond. Thanks Mom.

10. When I was 5: I had my first proposal of marriage. Mark also proposed to my best friend, but insisted he liked me best.

12. When I turn my head left: My neck cracks at least three times

14. When I look down I see: boobs striving to reach my bellybutton.

15. The craziest recent event: is found somewhere in my blog. Go look and comment.

16. If I were a character on "Friends": I'd love to be Phoebe, but probably more like Ross with a bit of Chandler.

19. I have a hard time understanding: why our government is not stricter on drunk drivers (in Romania automatic 1 year suspension of your license on your first offence, plus a fine that was equivalent to three months of a teacher's salary.) We are also too soft on sex offenders (I vote for castration of the convicted!)

23. Take my advice: you will never be as young and as thin as you are now. So enjoy yourself! (I have read that some bloggers have lost over 80 pounds - congratulations on beating the odds!)

24. My ideal breakfast is: During the week some cottage cheese with dried cranberries or yogurt with granola. On the weekend omelets and country potatoes or waffles with raspberry syrup.

25. If you visit my town: I will take you to the dollar store that snuck in while the "slow growth" city council is protesting a Target coming to town.

29. The world could do without: thoughtless people.

30. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: clean port-a-potties.

31. The most recent thing I've bought myself: are some new under things. Nothing can make you feel more sexy and confident than good, new underclothing!

32. The most recent thing someone else bought for me is: blank transparencies for my overhead projector at work. Talk about nothing that can make you feel sexy!

33. My favorite red head is: Ron Weisley from Harry Potter, Anne Shirley form Anne of Green Gables, or Lucile Ball who is America's favorite redhead.

34. My favorite brunette is: Hugh Jackman. I could watch him for two hours in any kind of movie.

37. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds: other than pigs and monkeys, I think a flying whale would be graceful. A flying giraffe would be funny with its long limbs everywhere.


40. Last night I: fell asleep at 8:30 - right in the middle of Gilmore Girls!

42: The CDs on my player right now are: The Blues Brothers the Definitive Collection, Sting's 10 Sumner's Tails, Bruce Springsteen's We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions, and Switchfoot's Nothing is Sound.

44. If I ever go back to school I'll: take classes on how to do minor repairs on my car. I hate going to a mechanic having no idea about what is going on; fulfilling the "such a girl" stereotype.

45. How many days until my birthday? Just over 4 months. I will turn 40! My mother swears she adopted me when I was 21 because she is too young to have a daughter this age.

46. One dead celebrity I wish I'd met is: Well heck I'd love to meet any celebrity, but I would have loved to meet Mother Theresa and just sit at her feet and learn or CS Lewis.

48. I've been told I look like: Drew Barrymore

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Famous in Our Own Lunchtimes

Wow, I have been tagged, by two people. Doodah! and Fruitful Words. I am not totally sure what that means, except that I get to write about things that talk about me. And maybe about you.

FAMOUS IN OUR OWN LUNCHTIMES

1. What do you like most about where you live?

I love the variety found in Northern California. I live an hour and a half from the beach, an hour and a half from the snow and the same distance from several redneck rodeos and hippy wineries. My husband went to a museum today, and I happened to notice that there were more than a dozen interracial couples - including us. Many places in the US and the world would give us a lot of sideways glances.

We can get authentic Italian, Mexican family restaurants. And not only do we have Japanese, Thai and Chinese, but we can also tell the cuisines apart. There are also Birkenstock wearing Republicans as well as leftwing "suits".

Also, recycling is so easy that I do not have to really work at it.

2. Is there anything strange about where you live?

My town is known for its weirdness. My dear friend Doodah! described it perfectly in this post. So I will send you there to read about our quirky town.

You can also check out our town's unique holiday.

3. What's one of your all-time favorite music albums, and why?

Sorry, can't limit to just one. It all depends on the chapter of my life.

As a little kid my first "album" - it was an eight track - was one of Sonny and Cher. My friend and I would be in the bedroom belting out songs that really were kind of too serious "or depressing for ten year olds to be singing. But heck, we didn't know. The songs "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves" or "Black Lady" were passionate, which lent themselves to being belted out. We didn't care a if "My baby shot me down" or that” I sneaked back and caught her with my man/Laughing and kissing till they saw the gun in my hand." Years later I had just moved to Romania and was missing my friends and totally testing how understanding my housemate would be by blaring Cher and Barry Manilow's Greatest Hits. These were two different tapes, but wouldn't that be a trip to watch live in concert?

In college I discovered the 80's revamp of hippiness, and along with that the beauty and convictions of Joan Baez and Peter Paul and Mary. More than that my friend Monica turned me on to a fantastic Christian singer of that era Larry Norman. He combined my desire for social justice with wanting things to be centered on God. He was also the first real Christian rock and roll artist. So I practically wore out "Only Visiting This Planet" as I meditated on what God wanted to do through me to make the world more the way He has originally intended.

In addition to these, U2's Joshua Tree, Born in The USA and anything by Barry Manilow. Nuff said.


4. Did you have a passion for something as a kid that you still have now? (If not - what is one of your passions now?

Like many bloggers, I love reading. As a child I could hardly wait until it rained, I would bundle myself up and go out under the roof of our porch with a mug of hot lemonade (I was not all that into hot chocolate) any my most recent library book. Even when we went camping, I would bring something to read in the great out doors. Yes, I hiked and looked at the gorgeous surroundings, but I also spent time breathing fresh pine scented air and finding out what happened to "My Friend Flicka" and "The Black Stallion".

The other thing I loved was daydreaming, especially if we were on our three-day drive to Grandma and Grandpa’s. Now I am not talking about imagining what I would do if I got the day off of school. I created entire plot lines with me as the main character, well not really me but a character of me, if that makes any sense. Maybe it was a sign of my young age or of my limited imagination, but most of my plots were using settings and characters from my favorite TV show or movie. I created shows for M*A*S*H or Charlie's Angles that included a 12 year old me.

5. What do you like most about having a blog?

The exhibitionist part of me enjoys writing about my life and thoughts knowing that some people will read and comment on what I say. There is also part of me that enjoys having a journal where I don't just spew onto a page. I have to think and edit what I am going to say, as well as once in a wile have something worth saying.

Pick 3 (or more) people and give them the opportunity to be Famous in Our Own Lunchtimes.
Here it goes: Dot, Plane and Simple, and My Sweet

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!