Monday, July 02, 2007

Desmon's Fourth Question

Here is the next question in Desmond's interview.

Are there any unique challenges to having an inter-cultural, inter-racial marriage? Do you have any children?

None at all! That actually is the answer to your second question. My Sweet and I were married in February, and at our reception my mother came up to me and said, “Do you know what would make a great Christmas gift for me? A grandbaby!” Come on, the wedding cake wasn’t even cut yet!

Many of the challenges are ones that are typical for any two people – how to decorate the house, control of the remote control, should there be a computer or TV in the bedroom (I usually win the decorating except for the computer room, he gets the remote usually, and no – two things usually go on there and the electronic noise is conclusive to neither).

Probably the unique challenges come often from language barriers. Although My Sweet is quite fluent in English, it is still a second language. Sometimes I will say something all too clearly and he will not know the vocabulary/slang or be having a Bad English Day. And many times if he gets lost in a conversation, he will just tune out. This is one thing when it is a group conversation, but when he tunes out when it is just the two of us – ooh man does he get it when I finally figure it out!

One of the most irritating is stereotyping. “Americans are lazy”, “My country does such-and-such better,” “This country’s health insurance is nuts!” Now often he is right, but it is still irritating. And, he is just as likely to say something crazy about Japan (and one day I may do a post about this – including the weird things you can find in Japanese vending machines).

Anther difficulty, and some may say a blessing, is that my mother-in-law lives on the other side of the planet. This means I do not have to deal with the “You are not taking proper care of my boy” issues. But then again I do not really have much of a relationship with her and my sis-in-law. My Sweet and I are in a quandary about what to do when his mother gets too old to take care of herself. She will not move to America, nor would I want to displace an elderly woman to a place where she has no friends and can not speak the language. The oldest son is supposed to take care of his parents. But we cross this bridge when we get closer to it.

Well, the final question has to do with books, and I will have plenty to say about it in my next post.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!


Summer Rose said...

What a cool insight, to what it's like marrying someone that comes from a different place, the way you wrote your post the two of you are such a cute couple.

Just Me said...

SR - thanks for the complement. Even though we have our arguments and irritations, he is my sweetheart.

Desmond Jones said...

Sorry I'm so late getting to this, Me; I was on vacation last week.

Thanks for this; it really shows a lot about who you are.

And "Desmond's Fourth Question"? Sounds like you're counting down to the apocalypse, or something. . .

Just Me said...

DJ - How was your vacation? If the second coming will bring back your blog, I will count down even faster.

Desmond Jones said...

Oh, it would indeed be apocalyptic if my blog were to return. . .

Sadly, blogging hits my psyche at exactly where my self-control ends and compulsion begins. For the sake of my continued employment (and the care and feeding of my numerous and several children), blogging is just not gonna happen for the foreseeable. . .