Jump On the Bandwagon

I am Surviving a Japanese Game Show II

2008-08-02T06:21:00.000-07:00

I noticed in my last post that I described Japanese game shows, but failed to say how I am actually surviving them. Of course there are challenges I wrote about before like The Toilet Flush Fip-out or You Want Me To Eat What? Here are a few examples of lesser known ways of how being a foreigner is like being in a game show.

The Granny Dodge - I am big blond foreigner in Japan, as well at the mother of the World's Cutest Baby. Therefor I often get approached by strangers who want to see this odditiy. In "The Granny Dodge" at any given moment half a dozen older ladies will surround me and begin to pinch Baby-san's little feet, all the while gabbering away saying things like "He is so cute", "How old is he?", "Where did he get this red hair?", "Can I take him home and marry him off to my granddaughter?", etc. The trick comes in being able to guess if they are expecting an answer and then being able to provide the correct answer quickly before the pinching leaves bruises and claustrophobia sets in. But to be a first place winner of the game, before they reach us I can dodge, dip, duck, dive and dodge or try to outrun them. I am a plus size woman with a baby strapped to her, so while the sight of me being chased down the road by a gaggle of grandmothers might give viewers a giggle or two, so I will be doing the former.
Subway Surfing- This is a game that can be played in many metropolitan areas. When entering the subway car do not take one of the many seats given up by business-boys. (I know this is hard to tell in writing, this comment is just reeking of sarcasm. Come on boys, can't you see this baby strapped to me?!? If we'd been in Eastern Europe I could count on some babushka granny to wallop you with her umbrella as she chewed you out commenting on how young people had the decency to give up their seats when your mother was carting you around when you couldn't even get the snot out of your nose and she had not survived two wars to see her country come to to this. So get your fanny out of the seat for this mother and her adorable red haired baby whose dimpled cheeks I must pinch. No, I am in Japan where public chastisement ranks up there with mooning the President.) Anyway back to the game. In subway surfing, the contestants stand in the middle of the train without holding on to any handles and keep their balance for as many kilometers as possible. Bonus points for people who, during rush hour, can keep their balance and read a book AND keep their hands from being into other contestants' personal spaces.
Mini Mini - In some Japanese game shows you will see adult men and women peddling a tricycle with all their might, knees bouncing off chins as they go. As a five foot eleven person, the trick is to maneuver around things that are designed for folks who might not be tall enough to go on all the Disney rides. Clothing stores are to be avoided at all costs, as is anything with sleeves, pant legs and hemlines. When on the bus you must be the first to reach that one seat stretching across the back and has a spot with actual leg room. And the winner has to be the contestant who can hold a bag of groceries, answer their cellphone, insert the door key in a lock that is eye level with your knee, and not bang your noggin on low ceilings.
Supermarket Scramble - In a country where the writing resembles modern interpretive art more than an actual alphabet, it is amazing when you come home with what you'd planned to buy. Is that mayonnaise in the squeeze bottle, or some kind of tofu puree? Is that a bag of cabbage or kelp? And really, what is that white box with the blue writing and a stream of liquid being poured out? The real winner is the one who brings nothing home and goes to the neighborhood noodle shop for dinner.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

I am Surviving a Japanese Game Show

2008-07-30T06:05:00.000-07:00

Oh dear, oh my - our computer decided to have a mental breakdown. Probably couldn't handle any more baby slobber. Anyway, we couldn't fix it until we got back to Tokyo. So I wrote a few columns by actually putting pen to paper and will post as if they happened in real time.

If I were staying in America this summer, there are a couple of shows (here and there)that would be programmed into my VCR (or DVR, TiVo, Blue Ray, HDTV, LMNOP - I honestly do not know what most of these are). My Sweet explained that these games are based on Japanese shows from 15 years ago where TV personalities competed in "extreme challenges" that put their comedic skills to work.

While at Most-Honorable-Mother-in-Law's I noticed that the game shows had shifted from eating to actually learning a thing or two - like why stall doors in public bathrooms fall open inwards when not locked* or why some train tunnels are square and others are rounded.**

So I figured that the days of Japanese contestants doing inane things were over. Oh no, not by a long shot. In one show I saw two women hooked up to a wii type of contraption and their characters were cave women carrying a stone wheel while jumping over pterodactyl turds. On another show comedians had to do pelvic thrusts into a gigantic air machine in order to move a heart shaped balloon up to a female face.

Watch this if you dare.

All I can do is laugh or sigh.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

* They fall inwards to A) keep you from bonking someone on the head as you try to get out, and B) it is easy to see if the stall is in use without the undignified action of peeking under the door.

** Square ones are easier to make, but rounded ones can handle pressure better, so the ones deeper in the earth are rounded. Oh, and FYI some Tokyo subway level are a mere 12 centimeters from each other.

Hot Spa Haiku

2008-07-16T21:51:00.000-07:00

Again, since I have provided a grandchild, my honorable mother-in-law took us to my favorite spot. After my third time in the hot mineral bath I relaxed enough to try my hand at something creative. I'd seen some lovely biddies, and biddy-dudes, using calligraphy brushes to write haiku and posting them on the wall. I'd been reminded again how rich God's world is. So here is my English haiku:

Dancing steam floats high

Water drains our sore muscles

God's gift makes us smile

When I gave my work to the clerk, she accepted it with many thanks and promised to hang it with the others. I think that was said out of politeness more than anything else, but just in case if you ever make it to the Iwaki-sou Hot Spa in Northern Japan, let me know if it is still up there.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Most Honorable Mother-In-Law

2008-07-13T04:35:00.000-07:00

Well as I mentioned earlier, we came to Japan to visit Baby-san's paternal grandmother. And in her eyes I performed a miracle. For you see I have provided her with a grandbaby! Everything I do is perfect; except for the way I dress, wash, play with, feed, diaper or put to sleep the baby. And I do not prevent drool from getting all over the place. OK, I confess that I had given up on that last one. I mean really, he produces enough slobber to put out a volcano. Most-Honorable-Mother-In-Law has to squeeze a year's worth of spoiling into a few weeks. This calls for a nearly daily trip to the indoor mall were we hit the very traditional kid's store of Oshkosh B'Gosh.*

Now my mother-in-law does not speak any English, and my Japanese is pretty much covered in the lyrics of Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto, so communication is always interesting. She must think I am an idiot. Not only am I unable to read labels to know which is a carton of milk and which is a milk-ish, but I can't even count change. Let me explain this one. You see my mother-in-law thought it would be cute to see the foreigner give money at the cash register. I figured "what they hey, give her a thrill." After things were rung up, I looked at the machine and saw that the total was 750 yen (about $7.50). "Great," I thought, "I get out a 500 yen coin, two 100 yen coins, and a 50 yen piece." One thing you need to know about me is that I can be a little scatterbrained and after I dug out the 500 yen coin, I continued to converse in my head:

I am glad Japanese money had the amount stamped on it.
It would be a bit difficult reading the amount.
American coins are not so simple to know their value.
I can blog the lines: Why is a dime worth more than a nickel even though it is smaller? And the color of the penny stands out more, so shouldn't it be more important?
When did Japan go to 100 and 500 yen coins, and will America ever shift to $1 and $5 coins instead of paper bills?

So with all this going through my mind, it is quite easy to see why I absentmindedly took out two 10 yen coins instead of 100 yen ones. Unfortunately as much as my mother-in-law occasionally gets under my skin, she was not inside my head. She did not know the complexities going on up there. Instead she is convinced that her son married a number one nincompoop!

Well, Baby-san is calling for me, so I will sign off for now.

I wonder why it is called sign off?
What if it was sing off instead?
Would singer and activist Bono then be able to get his message across better?
What if he...

* To give credit where it is due, My Dear Sweet Mother has more than spoiled Baby-san with some totally adorable outfits!

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Up Up and Away

2008-07-09T03:01:00.000-07:00

It has been almost two weeks since I got on the plane with My Sweet and Baby-san for a 10 hour flight to visit Number One Honorable Mother-in-Law. Traveling with a three-month-old on an airplane, let me tell you - it isn't that bad. Imagine putting an infant in the back of a car and going on a really, really, really long car ride. He was out like a light before the stewardesses finished vaguely showing us how to put on the life jackets located somewhere under our seats behind or above, or maybe even below, the 15 over packed carry on bags everyone has chosen not to pay extra to have put in cargo.

When we booked our flight, we requested the use of a bassinet. I thought that was very nice of the airline to provide, especially since we were going cheap and not buying a seat for the baby. It wasn't until about two hours into the flight when I found out that even though we'd talked to three different people three different times to confirm that we had the bassinet on reserve, none of these folks had fricking noticed that we were not booked in seats that accommodated space for the little bed. So I sat for 10 hours with a passed out baby on my lap, trying not to spill the airline dinners on him (the dinner roll might have put his eye out).

And while he slept most of the time, he did get fussy when wet or hungry. Both of these events always coincided with a key part of each movie I was watching. So on the Bucket List I know Jack Nickolson truly pisses of Morgan Freeman (is Jack pissing someone off really a surprise), but I have no idea why they get back together. And I have absolutely no idea why the Spiderwick creatures inhabit the home the kid's family just moved into, or how the cute old granny fits into anything, but I do know they defeat the creatures by the eccentric retired professor type of guy go out in a flurry of magic. And to be honest, do I really need to know the plot to Mad Money? I am just glad that Katie Holms gets out of her habitat, I mean mansion, once in a while.

There will be more to come from the land of Ninjas and Hello Kitty.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Greetings from the Land of The Rising Sun

2008-07-05T06:38:00.000-07:00

Greetings from the land of Freshness Burgers, Happy Drugs store, and actual customer service. Yes, we as a family have ventured to the Land of the Rising Sun to take Baby-san to meet his paternal granny. There is a whole post on the whole hanging with the in-law who is a first time grandparent, but I need a break from all things baby.

I just love coming to this country! When you can't speak the language, and especially can't read anything, you have time to observe random things around you. The other day we were walking to the market and I spied this sweet little old great-aunt-Flora type hobbling down the lane. She has probably never had anything more dangerous on her person than a pair of worn knitting needles, and yet she was sporting a sweater adorned with a black skull that had its eyes X-ed out.

Here you also can not assume anything concerning taste and style for gender or age. I saw a very expensive grave marker for a venerable husband and wife who passed on at a ripe old age. How does their family distinguish their spot? By the three foot statues of Snoopy and Hello Kitty.
There will be more coming soon. Sayonara

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Wish List

2008-05-01T09:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Baby-san,

Once during the deep of winter we had a power outage and all my distractions were not around and I started thinking of the things I want for you.

Here is my wish list:

* That you will have as much fun playing with the box as you do the toy that comes in it.
* Make several friends, have a couple who are like siblings, but never feel like you've got to go with the flow.
* Your eyes will be open to ways that will make people's life a little better, you'll do them, and never feel the need to take credit.
* Laugh often and heartily, but not at the expense of others. Life is full of humor, just look for it.
* Have dreams to revel in. Life is too short to not have flights of fancy.
* That you will know forgiveness, both giving and receiving. We have all sinned and fallen short of what God wants. So cut people some slack, including yourself.
* Walk the balance between using your head, and following your heart. But if you have to err, go with your heart.
* Hold out for the good chocolate, and the good women. Don't corrupt your taste for things of low quality.
* Explore and know the depths of love, God, and advanture.

Love Mom
(Man, does this title still feel weird!)

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men

2008-04-24T13:44:00.000-07:00

During the last week of my pregnancy My Sweet and I were talking a lot to the baby. Our monologues went something like this: Mom, “Please do not come this week until my maternity leave starts! Anytime after Friday is OK.” Dad, “Please do not come until after the new camera gets here!”

My Sweet and I had taken a birth class and we learned how to breathe properly to promote relaxation and saw several no holds barred films about natural childbirth, water births, c-section births and just about every type of birth possible. After each viewing My Sweet would say, “This was the lamest B horror movie I’ve ever seen.” Or he’d say, “This was the most boring porn I’ve ever watched.” To which I’d reply, “When have you ever watched porn?” “Um, I was speaking hypothetically, of course Sweetheart.” We were as prepared as anyone who’d never gone through the blessed event could be. We even had our Birth Plan ready: We wanted a midwife at the hospital, a water birth in their big ol’ Jacuzzi, breastfeeding only and no drugs unless I really, really, really, really, really need it. I say what “we” want, but I really mean what “I” want. We would discuss it, but he said it was all about what I wanted and could handle. His role could be likened to an amusement park attendant, he needed to make sure that I kept my hands and feet inside the car at all times and to make sure that a derailment didn’t happen. This included being able to read my mind and know if I really, really, really, really, need the drugs or just really, really need them.

Well, on Monday afternoon, the first day of my maternity leave and two days after the camera came in, I went in for a scheduled check-up and never came out. I called My Sweet and told him it was time, waking him out of a deep sleep, and he called My Dear Sweet Mother giving this detailed account, “It’s time for the hospital,” and hung up.

About 75% of my birth plan had to be ditched, and about 5 hours into everything, I really, really, really, really, REALLY needed the drugs. I had heard Carroll Burnett and Bill Cosby talk about the pain in childbirth, and I think for the sake of comedy they tamed it down a bit. Imagine placing a finger on a railroad track and having it run over while still knowing when it is over you will have to do it again. A friend of mine went through childbirth by clutching the side of the side of the bed and murmuring, “Jesus, be merciful to me.” I was more like, “Jesus, be merciful to me for the terrible things I said about You, your sainted Mother and Your Holy Father. I am truly sorry for shouting out those obscenities. But you were the one who put pain in childbirth, so please take what I said with a generous grain of salt.”

Well, after 24 hours of painful labor, which I will remind him of every moment of his teen years, our son was born, beautiful and handsome. Life will never be the same again.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Hello 'Ya All

2008-04-04T16:27:00.000-07:00

Hello ‘Ya All,

Yes I am back. I’d like to say that the pregnancy is the reason that I have gotten out of the discipline of writing. It definitely had something to do with it, in much the same way the flu gets you out of the habit of working out at the gym. You get sick and truly do not have the energy to work out, and then you have a crazy week at work that drains you, and before you know it you are reacquainted with the easy relationship of your sofa and television. Well, I am metaphorically getting off of the couch and back on the writer’s treadmill. But with the end of the writers’ strike TV is actually beginning to be worth watching again (Oh Sawyer how I have missed you, Jake was just a temporary fling!)

Here is something from my pregnancy. (I know, I promised that the blog would not be “All Baby, All the Time”. Well, cut me some slack, hopping on the writing treadmill means posting about what is right in front of me, and right now I have baby on the brain.) Being good first time parents, My Sweet and I dutifully attended a getting ready for childbirth class. In that class they recommended getting a birthing ball, the same as a pliaties/exercise ball, which we went out and bought. I enjoyed sitting on this so much that I seriously thought about bringing it to work. But, I never wanted to be this guy:

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Giving Thanks

2007-11-23T09:31:00.000-08:00

Hello all of my half dozen readers. I hope you are all basking in the post tryptophan pre-surge on the mall warmth of the season. Don't forget the reason for this. Cicero once said, "Gratitude is not only the greatest of the virtues, but the parent of all others." I think it is wise to start the Christmas season remember what we have to be thankful for, not simply scanning the catalogs for what we want and don't have.

Here are a few things I am thankful for:

* Feeling the baby kick every day
* The frosty feel of pre-winter days that will warm up nicely
* A husband who wakes up from a dead sleep to rub my back when morning sickness hits
* Family - both biological and chosen
* God's intimacy
* belly laughing

What are you grateful for? This list can never be too long or too trivial.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

East Weds West

2007-10-30T13:46:00.000-07:00

My Sweet's family is not one that follows tradition. If it were, I am sure he would have ended up marrying some nice Japanese girl-next-door. His sister's wedding was an interesting combination of East meets West. She did not wear a wedding kimono, but did change dresses half way through (it is usual for the bride to wear a kimono and then change into two different Western dresses during the reception) giving her uncle the honor of escorting her to the changing room.

We started in a room with just family, bride's on the right side and groom's on the left with everyone in a particular seating order. Then each member is formally introduced individually by the father. There was lots of bowing and nary a smile cracked by anyone. Then we file into the hotel chapel which included an American pastor (My Sweet's family is not Christian) who spoke in Japanese for everything except praying. Then he shifted from a gentle "We are gathered here today..." to a deep booming "Our Heavenly Father who granteth all..." Ok, I can understand that the booming voice is part of the show (though I do not think my giggles helped), but why in English? It was not like they were in any way long or extemporanious! Oh well, I did not get a chance to ask him because he has 4 other ceremonies to preside over. But we ended the service with "What a Friend We Have in Jesus", which I found out later was a well known hymn in Japan. This song has always struck me as a bit somber for a wedding - forfeited joys and needles pains bared and all. I just pray that people who sang it will at sometime contemplate the words.

The reception had a fabulous six course meal, and my sister-in-law read the "Letter to the Parents" thanking her parents for many things that My Sweet was unable to translate. When she spoke about their late father and the regrets she had, she totally lost it. Then the bride and groom walked around the room with all parents, and the groom welcomed the bride's family as part of his family.

Of course there was the cutting of the wedding cake. But my sister-in-law did something special. After that was done, they brought out another cake for My Sweet and I to cut. You see, we never did anything official in Japan for our wedding, and because of different issues, none of his family was able to attend our wedding in America. I was totally choked up by her planning to include us on her special day. Waterproof mascara my Aunt Fanny!

One last thing - all the women in the bridal party got their hair and makeup done by the pros. Here is a telling difference between uber-polite Japan and America. When I sat down in the chair, the gal working on me said, "I like the color of your hair." Now four days earlier when I got my hair cut at home, my hairdresser watched me come in and sighed, "You colored your own hair again. You're not going to Japan like that, are you?" Here in Japan I had at one point 5 people working on me! In the end I looked like a dolled up Barbara Jean Heart from the TV show Reba. It was fun for a party. But I did notice one thing. The more makeup they applied to me, the older I looked. This is great when you are 16 and want to look like you are in your 20's. But really, when you're 40 and people tell you that you look 30, you don't want to look 45. By the way, thanks for the great genes Mom. The more make up you wear, the more people assume you have something to cover up. In the end I looked like a gal ready for a good time. Which I was!

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Land of The Rising Sun

2007-10-28T14:17:00.000-07:00

Well, My Sweet and I have come to Japan for my sister-in-law's wedding. I have just a few comments about the incredibly long plane ride over here. First of all the baby did not make me throw up, but I think this speaks more to the quality of the airline food than to anything else. Secondly it was pleasing to see airline attendants of all shapes, sizes, ages, and masculinities. Thirdly, I must be getting hormonal. I gave a deep "Oh my" as I watched the bitter sweet love story Away From Her where two people make the most selfless sacrifices for the person they love. But man I really lost it in the next movie a few hours later. When everyone finally saw that Steve Carell (sniff, sniff) was right about the coming flood and that they needed to get their bleeping behinds on the ark before they were swept away, I cried a river!

Here are a few things I was thinking as we traveled through Tokyo from the airport to Super Swank hotel where the wedding weekend was going on. First of all I knew I was in Japan when I saw a grown woman with her green Snoopie embossed Sampsonite. Also at the airport there were hoards of begloved taxi drivers in suits and standing patiently inside the terminal (no one descending upon the new arrivals, nor are they jockeying to cut in front of someone else. Also, drivers multi task here just as dangerously as we do at home - for example there was the businessman I saw texting, drinking something from Starbucks and driving in the rain. And I do not know if this intentional or not, but just outside the airport is the First Wood Hotel, followed by the Rainbow Hotel, and finally was a very purple and pink hotel or apartment building.

One last first impression. If you watched the movie Lost in Translation, you know Japanese LOVE to have Western stars hawk their goods. Today I saw though guy Tommy Lee Jones on a billboard for a coffee company. The name Boss Coffee works for me, but the fact that it is a Rainbow Blend does not do for Mr. This-is-my-happy-face.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

The Stein Way

2007-10-25T08:03:00.000-07:00

My Dear Sweet Mother forwarded this email to me, and it made me go "Humm", and maybe it will you, too. Much of it was written by Mr. Stein, and some was written by someone else (thanks doodah!). It does make me go Humm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If they know of him at all, many folks think Ben Stein is just a quirky actor/comedian who talks in a monotone. He's also a very intelligent attorney who knows how to put ideas and words together in such a way as to sway juries and make people think clearly.
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are:Christmas trees.
It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.
I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?
I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too.
But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.
In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.
Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something lik e this Happen?" (regarding Katrina)
Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government
and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?" (She said the same thing when interviewed after 9-11)

In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.
Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. the Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide).
We said an expert should know what he's talking about.
And we said OK.
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their
classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.
Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.
Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.
Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Are you laughing?
Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe,
or what they will think of you for sending it.
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.
Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.
My Best Regards. honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

The Purest Artform

2007-09-19T18:21:00.000-07:00

One of the things about throwing up every other evening (I haven't mentioned this in like a whole post yet, I think I must be getting better), I have been watching more mindless TV. The other night My Sweet and I watched a hilariously serious documentary called Air Guitar Nation. Every year a college town in Finland holds the World's Airguitar Championship.

These are the rules for entering this contest: The artist's instrument must be INVISIBLE.
There you have it. Everything else is a go.
But what makes a winner, you may be asking. Well, I will tell you.
* These young men and women must dig deep into their soul to discover and show their Airness.
* They must realize that air guitar is the last pure art form.
* Someone may steal your guitar, but they can never steal your air.

Check out the first ever American competitor - C-Diddy - as he performs in the US East Coast semifinals.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Fall is in the Air

2007-09-19T17:42:00.000-07:00

Most people mark the beginning of Fall with the start of school. Where I work school begins in the middle of August, so that has stopped being the door to life's greatest season. But about a week ago I noticed that each I needed to change the temperature gage in my car from as way cold as possible to cool. Now it is on warm. Fall is here! (Que music) "It's the most wonderful time of the year". "Shorts worn with swearters, and fresh crispy apples, cider, hot chocolate and fun pumpkin patches, bright colored tree leaves in which a bird sings, these are a few of my favorite things".

And I think this weekend I will have to do my ceremonial "putting away of the Birkenstalks". Yes, they are to be boxed away until next May. Huge Sigh!

I mentioned school earlier, and I just have to share an extreme example of teenage melodrama. Hopefully you parents will sigh with relief knowing that your kids really are pretty well adjusted.

We got a new student this year who can be incredibly charming, but is also a bit of a hothead. The reason he did not come to our school last year is that his ex-girlfriend was our student, and her family took out a restraining order against him. Well, on Friday the ex-girlfriend came by our and when she walked by my window I practically had to sit on him to stop him from yelling obscenities out the window. Then one girl in another class, who swears that she is tired of "all the drama" yet can't seem to keep her cute little nose out of any of it, texts my student's current girlfriend (who at one point last year got pissed and beat up a car) who promptly calls my student on cell phones, which are supposed to be turned off, and yell at him for being near "that hussy". My student goes ballistic, leaves class and just Tiggers right over the fence! At this point we call the cops, his parole officer and both sets of parents to let them know what is going on. My student ends up spending the weekend in the pokey. I have this image of my student and his girlfriend being a hot blooded couple hitting each other over the head with frying pans one minute and passionately making out the next. It makes for great TV stories, but terrible family life.

On a lighter note, I hope everyone enjoyed National Talk Like A Pirate Day, matie.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Projects Done

2007-09-09T11:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I said that this isn’t going to make this an All-Baby-All-The-Time blog. However I wanted to share this with you because I am quite proud of it. The baby bootie is my first 3-D crochet project. You see, my friends think that I am a real wiz with the hook, but I really have only a few things I do pretty well, mostly scarves and afghans (which are in a way big scarves). Plus I can talk a good game so it is not too hard to bluff my way around. Fortunately one of the things I can do is read a pattern, so with some patience and time spent not throwing up, I was able to puzzle this out.

Now as you can see, there is only one bootie. This is because I did do a few other things last weekend. Friday was the annual My Town Holiday, which My Sweet and I decided to celebrate once the heat came down. Man, there were some people doing some scrounging around out there. I bet those things will show up at some nearby flea market pretty soon. More power to them – they were working much harder than I want to on a holiday. Amongst the cute bowls and slightly scratched plant stands, I found two jewels that I can not believe someone didn't find room to take with them. They are, get this, Lord of the Rings Monopoly (missing only missing the special Ring playing piece), and end of second season of Lost jigsaw puzzle. Can you believe it!?! Me neither! My Sweet and I spent a good chunk of the weekend putting the puzzle together. That is when I wasn’t in the bathroom experiencing the “pains in childbearing”.

I actually wrote the article last Sunday, and would have posted it then except for one little thing. Since hooking up with My Sweet, a professional and recreational computer type of guy, I can become more and more computer retarded. I could not figure out how to suck the pictures from the camera to the computer to where I can upload it. Not that I am mentally too incompetent to figure it out. It is just so much easier to have him do it –zip, zip, zip. Several years ago the first of my friends got married. Over coffee one morning she told me, “It’s funny, since getting married Ivan has forgotten where the kitchen is and I can no longer lift anything over ten pounds.” This coming from an extremely independent woman whose favorite verb tense is the imperative (that is the technical term for giving a command for all the non English geeks out there). Hopefully I will be able to over come this significant-other-can-do-it-easier-it is. But for now I am just trying to overcome the feeling of nauseousness. (Have I mentioned throwing up yet?) Do you know I have actually lost some weight! I can hardly weight until going to the all you can eat Korean BBQ will pay off.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

OK, OK, I'll Update

2007-08-25T14:25:00.000-07:00

Well, Dotkat has been on my case, in an ever so loving way, to get off my duff and update my blog. She also alluded to my feeling poorly in her comment in my last posting.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, as of two months ago the bun is in the oven, the rabbit has died. I am a defective typewriter (missing period - from Rizzo in Grease) and I am officially knocked up.

I got to tell you, as much as we are excited and scared about having a baby, this morning sickness thing is totally crappy. I've got headaches on a daily basis (hence the reason I don't like to be on the computer very much). Loud noises and sudden motions bug me. Also I am tired ALL THE TIME. Seriously, staying up to 8:45 is a late night for me. And Morning Sickness is a misnomer. It hits and whatever part of the day it darn well pleases. I think the baby is trying to help me lose a little weight before the "Feed me Seymore" stage hits.

My students have decided that they will get to pick at least the middle name. So in a year if you see an Alexis Juanita Lucia Smith-Fujikawa or Joe Bob Juan Carlos Schmit-Yashimoto, it will probably be my kid.

So although I do not plan to make this into a cotton candy all-baby-all-the time, you know there will be more to come.

Until then...
Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Sorry I Haven't Posted in a While

2007-08-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

Hello my millions of readers.

I have been feeling quite poorly for the past couple of weeks – including headaches that just get horrendously worse when I read anything, especially things on the computer.

As a result of this, I have been watching a lot of daytime TV. I have to tell you that while court shows are the original reality TV, they bring out a type of people watching that is reserved for being at the state fair with my deep-fried, chocolate-covered Twinkie. Come on people! When you have an agreement to pay a bill, pay it! Having troubles at work or, more often than not, mismanaging your money does not mean it is OK to pass your burdens off onto another person! This is not stated directly in the Ten Commandments, but it is implied there and stated elsewhere.

I have also heard a lot about Barry Bonds. Breaking the record kind of makes me sad. A big part of it is because did a lot of HUI (hitting under the influence). But another part is that there has been a long running record – something that has been a part of Americana for many decades. Now Mantel’s record is gone, never to be number one again. I kind of felt the same way when Susan Lucci finally received her Emmy. She was annually setting and beating her record of being nominated and not winning.

Well, my headache is starting again, so I am going to sign off. What have you been watching/doing lately?

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Desmond's Final Question

2007-07-11T10:34:00.000-07:00

Desmond ended his interview this way:

Question five: What good books have you read in the last six months? (Feel free to go further back, if you like).
So there you have it. Please forgive me if any of the answers are obvious, and I just didn't pay attention when you answered them.
And, let me say that the general 'Joie de Vivre' tone of your blog is happily resonant for me. . .
Blessings. . .
PS - I'm also a big Larry Norman fan from way back. For one of my recent birthdays, my kids made me a 'Larry Norman Mix' CD. . .
And, Why Should the Devil Have All the Good Music?

My dear Desmond, I am a voracious reader. Before I decided to major in English, I took literature classes for fun. So I will limit myself to the last 10 books, many of them I have read since school let out. Now remember, this is summer reading – I was tempted to throw in some CS Lewis and documentary types of books to look brainy.

1. I am still reading Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller. I have liked his blunt challenge to live a faith-centered life in a very self-centered society.
2. I just finished The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri. I wanted to read the book before the movie comes out on DVD. (I have heard phenomenal things about the Bollywood actress who plays the mother.) Also, my favorite genre of stories is the interaction of immigrants and their children, their struggle to understand the class or mix of cultures and struggle for identity.
3. One Day More by Mitch Albom. This was a sweet read that makes you want to call your mother and say that you love her.
4. We Shouldn’t Even be Doing This by Bob Newhart. Hilarious! This isn’t so much an autobiography as it is a recollection of funny stories from his life, many of which made it into his stand-up acts. I laughed so much that I high tailed it to the library and borrowed “The Button Down Mind of Bob Newhart” album. Go out right now and get it!
5. Crochet Patterns in a Weekend- what can I say? Christmas is a mere 6 months away.
6. Luncheon of the Boating Party by Susan Vreeland. I went to hear her speak a while ago, and she was just a lovely lady – kind of the perfect library marm. For this book she did a lot of research into the lives of Renoir and the models he used for this painting, their relations with him and each other. I love that she shooed us like a goose to her display table that was filled with documents and “frippery” about the people in her book. However, my favorite book from this author is Girl in Hyacinth Blue, another book based on a famous painting. This one creates stories of the possible owners of the paining through the years.
7. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The next one is coming out soon and it refreshes my memory. And yes, people will see me at the movie dressed in my Muggle outfit.
8. In a Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson. This is a fun account of his travels across Australia. My goodness this is a dangerous land. And the Aussies are very proud of this fact!
9. Homespun Tales from America’s Favorite Storytellers. I think folktales are a delightful fabric of our culture that gets lost.
10. Gardening for Dummies. We have tried growing peas and potatoes for the first time in our garden. I have also found a way to kill every lavender plant I own, and it is supposed to be unstoppable. Well, leave it to me to stop them from living.

Does anyone want me to interview him or her? If so then tell me in the comment section and I will post questions. You then answer them in your blog. Most people answer them in one post, but I tend to run on and on. You answer them in the style you like. Also, if you don't have a blog, you can answer them in the comments section and I may publish them in a post.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

I Have Hope

2007-07-06T17:28:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness! There is a glimmer of hope for the media world! Tom Brokaw and Edward R Murry would be a little less embarrassed for their profession.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Independence Day

2007-07-05T23:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I spent some time with my niece and nephews doing something that has become a tradition for the 4th of July – watching a pre BBQ and pre pre-fireworks movie. I am not interested in great works of art. I want to get out of the heat and escape for a little while. Now there are a few requirements for a proper 4th movie. They need to have either the fate of America, if not the entire world, at stake. There must also be a clear enemy. And in the end we need to walk out thankful we are free.

So here are my top 5 Independence Day movies:

1) Independence Day – America saves the world from creepy aliens as Will Smith shows why America is great – we are bad ass with humor!

2) Any of the Terminators – An American saves the world from evil technology! And in Terminator 2 again we have a bad ass who throws out one-liners. Actually, if you compare Terminator 1 and 2, you will see how the American society changed from the 80’s to the 90’s. The first one is full of gratuitous gore. In the 80’s we wanted things gritty and “real”. The one in the 90’s was much less disgusting and full of jokes. We fed up with “gritty” and wanted to laugh hard and have lots of explosions.

3) Indiana Jones – Evil Nazi people trying to exploit God’s power to take over the free world. The sexy and brainy American foils their plot with humor and explosions, and a bit of melting going on.

4) Armageddon – Space rock threatens the world and only a rough and tough band of independent manly Americans can save us all. It has Michael Clarke Duncan, whose voice can turn me on just by reading the telephone book, and it was my introduction to the hilarious Owen Wilson.

5) Transformers – Turn off your analysis of the plot and dialogue. This is a fun movie where alien robots try to turn everything evil, and good, powerful, alien robots come to our aid. But it takes a couple of spunky American kids to save the Earth. But I have at least one issue – if you have the fate of the world in your hands, and both a giant robot and the army guy who really knows what he is doing tells you to run to the top of a roof, do not stop and take several minutes and tell the girl you love her. Run to the top of the frigging roof! And as my nephew said, “If you do stop to tell her, then kiss her for goodness sake!”

Honorable Mention:
Air Force One – Kick ass president who puts it all on the line to do the right thing.

Enemy of the State – American on American action is not really right for the Fourth, but it is Will Smith’s first action film that did not include an alien.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Desmon's Fourth Question

2007-07-02T11:57:00.000-07:00

Here is the next question in Desmond's interview.

Are there any unique challenges to having an inter-cultural, inter-racial marriage? Do you have any children?

None at all! That actually is the answer to your second question. My Sweet and I were married in February, and at our reception my mother came up to me and said, “Do you know what would make a great Christmas gift for me? A grandbaby!” Come on, the wedding cake wasn’t even cut yet!

Many of the challenges are ones that are typical for any two people – how to decorate the house, control of the remote control, should there be a computer or TV in the bedroom (I usually win the decorating except for the computer room, he gets the remote usually, and no – two things usually go on there and the electronic noise is conclusive to neither).

Probably the unique challenges come often from language barriers. Although My Sweet is quite fluent in English, it is still a second language. Sometimes I will say something all too clearly and he will not know the vocabulary/slang or be having a Bad English Day. And many times if he gets lost in a conversation, he will just tune out. This is one thing when it is a group conversation, but when he tunes out when it is just the two of us – ooh man does he get it when I finally figure it out!

One of the most irritating is stereotyping. “Americans are lazy”, “My country does such-and-such better,” “This country’s health insurance is nuts!” Now often he is right, but it is still irritating. And, he is just as likely to say something crazy about Japan (and one day I may do a post about this – including the weird things you can find in Japanese vending machines).

Anther difficulty, and some may say a blessing, is that my mother-in-law lives on the other side of the planet. This means I do not have to deal with the “You are not taking proper care of my boy” issues. But then again I do not really have much of a relationship with her and my sis-in-law. My Sweet and I are in a quandary about what to do when his mother gets too old to take care of herself. She will not move to America, nor would I want to displace an elderly woman to a place where she has no friends and can not speak the language. The oldest son is supposed to take care of his parents. But we cross this bridge when we get closer to it.

Well, the final question has to do with books, and I will have plenty to say about it in my next post.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Desmond's 3rd Question

2007-06-26T10:59:00.000-07:00

Here is the next question from Desmond’s interview. This took me a while to think how to put into words something that is very heartfelt. So here is question #3.

In one of your previous comments on this blog, you mentioned having once belonged to a Christian community. Could you tell us more about that?

My Christian Community began in college with a campus Christian fellowship. It was a fabulous time of delving into the Bible and being challenged to live out the gospel with each other and our community. The things I learned as a child were being built upon with the intensity of being 20 and in college. We tested what was said in the Bible and were thrilled when we saw they were true.

Many of us started attending a new little church that was excited about God and had a strong belief that fellowship is like the communities in Acts chapter 2. We didn’t sell everything we had and share the money, but if we had something someone else needed, we gladly lent or even gave it to them. Did someone need to move? 20 people would show up on moving day, with half a dozen coming before to help clean so you can get your deposit back. Did someone need prayer? We would pray for hours if needed. Worship was intense. Trust built up to where you could share with several people your struggles and pain without judgment – but also know these people would help you seek God’s discernment. I went away for several years to work with a Christian organization, and when it was time to come back I purposely returned to this community.
Now there are as many explanations about why this church broke up as there are people involved. I am going to share my perspective and welcome comments from other members or friends of members to share their ideas.

As I mentioned earlier, I spent many years overseas attending churches where I barely spoke the language. Worship was awesome – God knowing the depth if the words I sung even more than I did. However the sermons were tough for me to follow. So, once I got lost, which was pretty quickly, I tuned out and meditated on the scripture passage. Even when I had translators, I was always analyzing what was said because I know things often got mixed up in translation. Once I came back to America, I kind of did the same thing even though the sermon was in English. More often than not I would tune out what the sermon said or take what the pastor said and analyze it until it made sense to me. Hence I didn’t really catch on to when the pastor started preaching things that were not really bad, but not Biblical.

Also, with as much desire as everyone had to love everyone for Christ, we were not growing as a church. Everyone was therefore doing everything, so if someone needed a break or sabbatical, there was no one to step up to the plate and you saw the ministry you put your heart and sweat into falter or die. There was a lot of guilt not to take a break. If any kind of long-term need came up we were too stretched to properly take on the challenge.

I would add to this issues I have with many churches. One is the lack of young men, especially single men in church and the causes behind that. Another is how single women are a kind of second class citizens who have to “be protected” like young children – regardless of their age or spiritual maturity.

Eventually the people in the top tier of leadership reached beyond their limit and either moved away of left for another church. There were deep wounds all around, and within a year the church denigrated. Most went to one of two churches in town, while a few “took a break” from church all together.

The remnant that chose the church I now attend has stayed together. When I get together with these people, even if it has been weeks or months, it is easy to get to heart issues because we have an old trust. There are several women, and by proxy their husbands, who keep in contact almost daily via group email. These emails share painful struggles and outrageous joys. One person shares how her kids often see her belt out in an operatic falsetto, “Lord, help me Jesus!”

These people, grounded in God, community and trust, help keep me sane when Jesus seems far away.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Whoo Hoo

2007-06-20T10:19:00.000-07:00

My Sweet and I are off for some much needed refillment in our country's wonderful park system. I will talk to you soon.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Desmond

2007-06-15T11:37:00.000-07:00

A while back there was a blogger I loved reading because he usually challenged me to think. Since then he has closed his blog (miss you Desmond) but he still gives intriguing comments on blogs, so he is not totally gone. He began a process of getting to know readers by asking them questions, and here are the ones he asked me.

Desmond Jones said...

Just Me - Hi! Haven't seen you around in awhile

OK, let's see if I can come up with five questions worth your while to answer. . .

1) I'll start with the obvious one, since you went to all the trouble of laying it out there for me: What is a 'liturgical Pentecostal'? I'd be interested to hear about your religious/spiritual background more generally, and how it affects your life today.

I was fortunate enough to be raised in the church. My Dear Sweet Mother took us to the Lutheran Church where God met me at a very young age. Though I didn't really know it at the time, the repetition of the liturgy and scripture teachings grounded me deeply in God's word, and this formed the foundations that would provide me many answers throughout my life. When I went to college my main form of rebellion was to seek out something different in a fellowship. The one thing I felt was missing in the liturgical services was a passion in prayer and worship. It was here that I felt the power of the Holy Spirit and God's ability to answer prayers. Now I seek out churches that have a respect for the grounding of liturgy as well as a passion for seeing the Holy Spirit at work.

2) How did you meet Your Sweet, and how did the two of you decide to marry? (I don't know that I've ever said so, but most days, as I kiss Molly goodbye on my way to work in the morning, I say, "Farewell, my Sweet"; so we've got that in common, too ;) )

Now I work with high school kids and I love telling them that I met my husband when he was my student. They start hooting and hollering because they are thinking that he was a 17 or 18 year old. In truth he was 28 and I was 31.

When I went overseas, I specifically picked a mission organization where we taught in the public schools. So for four years I taught English as a second language and when I came back to America I got a job teaching English to internationals getting ready for college or grad school. It was great having in the same classroom Arabs, Japanese, Koreans and Brazilians. My Sweet was one of those students. While he attended my school, I never thought about him in that way – I have always put married men and students in that “don’t even think about going there” category. But after he graduated, he asked me to a party, and things went on from there. We dated for several years because I wanted to be more certain we could deal with issues of differences in culture and languages. Also, at the time My Sweet was spiritually seeking, but was not a Christian. I know that a person’s spiritual beliefs affect how they live their life and I had told My Sweet from the very beginning that I would not consider marrying him if he did not make his own commitment to Jesus. On New Years Eve he decided that Jesus was the one he wanted to be following, and a few months later we were married.

I want to take a bit more time to answer the other questions, so stay tunes.

As a final note I just want to say, “Thank you Bob Barker for bringing lightness and joy.”

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

That Time of Year.

2007-06-07T16:07:00.000-07:00

OK it is officially here – the dreaded swimsuit season. Actually, I am not really intimidated by the idea of being at the beach or pool in a cute tank top suit. I get intimidated when I am trying on the cute suit in front of a dressing room mirror. I will blame it ALL on the horrid lighting – it’s television, it adds 10 pounds. Well, more like it adds 20 pounds. Really, the lighting adds 40 bounds. OK, let’s round up and say it adds an even 50 pounds.

My Sweet and I are getting into the exercise mode. Not so much because of the swimsuit thing, but more because in October My Sweet is going to become a brother-in-law (which for a long time My Sweet, in his adorable second language, thought Americans were saying brother-in-love. I like this idea since love is the reason marriages stay together.) So this fall I will be going to the land of skinny people (the Hard Rock Café juniors shirt I got for my sister-in-love was way to big for her!!!). I am also going to meet some of My Sweet’s more judgmental family members. Therefore My Sweet and I are trying to slim down before then.

So what are we doing to take off the pounds? Jogging five miles a day? Joining a gym and actually going? Eating only celery and leaving the Ben and Jerry’s to get freezer burn? No fricking way! We are doing Dance-Dance-Revolution! I am proud to say that I have graduated from the baby steps to the way beginner level (and I have dismantled the machines ability to boo me.). Is it bad for me to say that I secretly hope that My Sweet will mess up a couple of times so I have a slight hope of outscoring him (so far it hasn’t happened, dang it all!).

Here is a video of me doing a little DDR. Aren't I cute?!?

OK, here is the real video of me and MY Sweet. I am the one in white. OK go.

Here is another exercise video that teaches English, cultural norms as well as giving you a good workout.

Hey, speaking of skinny judgmental people, what in the world has happened to the judicial system that allows Paris to go home for “medical” reasons? They have doctors in jail!

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Hitchhikers Around the Galaxy Unite

2007-05-27T13:55:00.000-07:00

How could I have missed this day?!? This is what I get for not having a computer to surf for these important events.

Check out DodKat's faithfulness to this holiday.

Man, next year I plan to talk like a pirate, pop some bubble wrap, and carry me a towel!

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Remembering

2007-05-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

To me fall is the time for remembering. The winding down of the year, winter right around the corner, long dark nights indoors give time for contemplation. Spring and summer are times for living life, having adventures, fresh beginnings. However, I think that the powers that be were wise in giving us reasons to remember in the rush of everything. We need to take time out of our living life full tilt to remember so many wonderful things.

Regardless of your politics, we need to remember the people who stepped up and gave their all to protect us from living in fear. I spent several years in counties that, not too long ago, had their people living in fear. And I am thankful that I have days, weeks and months where I do not have to be fearful.

Pentecost is this weekend. Now is a time to remember that life is not just the physical. There is a spiritual side to us that God has given so that we may seek something more than what we can see, touch, taste and feel.

Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Graduation happen in the late spring and early summer. Parents, however much they may bug us, have spent days, weeks and months worrying about us – our safety, futures, love lives, and worrying if they are doing anything to totally screw us up. Graduation is usually a day for looking back on youth and looking forward to the next stage. Yet this is also a time for parents to celebrate a chapter of their stresses closing. Granted, there are plenty of things parents will need to be involved in (just ask my Dear Sweet Mother), but in a job where there are few end dates and finished accomplishments this is a time for parents to say, “I helped my child grow and fulfill this stage.” And we children, even if we graduated several decades ago, can look back and be thankful for the people who helped us navigate our childhood.

So what do you memoralize?

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Technical Dificulies

2007-05-20T12:50:00.000-07:00

Sorry I am not posting much this week. Because of a little incident involving a cup of coffee and the motherboard, my laptop is in the shop getting overhauled.

Insurance always puzzles me. If my computer had worn out, the warranty would have covered it. So why doesn't insurance cover stupidity and acts of God? Isn't that why we get insurance, to cover accidents?
#$%^@$^%#$T$#^# That is what I think about insurance right now!

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Mom's Lessons

2007-05-13T09:03:00.000-07:00

Five things that my dear sweet mother taught me

1.Never put housework before family, friends or a good book. Keeping up appearances is for lonely people who do not know how to keep up with friends. Plus, I remember my mom quoting some of her philosophy:

I am hoping that the kids will get fed up with living in a dirty house and vow to never let their own house get this way. I am hanging with my friends for you.

Well, the dust bunnies I am raising for pets attests to the success of this.

2.You can stretch a bottle of shampoo by adding a bit of water to it. This is particularly useful when the kids use like a quarter cup of shampoo with each lather, rinse, repeat.

3.Elementary school plays and high school concerts are worthwhile events.

4.You can do things without asking Dad, as long as you can convince him that he gave his permission before hand. Just be careful about getting caught, especially bringing home the puppy your middle child whined for, or he will remind you about who is responsible for years to come.

5.One of the best ways to serve God is to serve people. Sending a bit of gas and 20 minutes giving someone a lift, listening while they need to vent, and sticking in an extra casserole in the oven for someone in need is a part of being the person God created you to be.

What have you learned from you mom?

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

The Manilow

2007-05-07T22:05:00.000-07:00

When I was a child I developed two characteristics. One is that once I find something I like, I will stick with it. The other is that I have always been a step behind in just about everything. Hence my glee at the return of peasant blouses and the reason I scan store catalogue hoping beyond hope that bellbottoms or acid wash will come back. It also explains why all during the 80’s and even now I am a Barry Manilow fan. When I was 12 I discovered that sappy ballads and powerful key changes hit my heart. So the whole Las Vegas trip was a birthday present to take me to see the man who knew exactly what I was feeling when those dumbass boys were stupid enough to let me go!

Now I know that Barry appeals to a different part of people than say BB King or Mozart, but I love the fact that he does not take himself too seriously and has fun with the cheese factor in his performance. Besides, his songs actually have melody and lyrics that do touch something very human inside of us all.

But the best part of the show happened after the encore. I met Tony. He didn’t tend bar, he was an 82 year old usher who was simply charming.

"Do you know that that blond boy is Barry Manilow? Yes, it is true. The people last night, they didn’t know."

When Fellow Fanilow asked him to give me his Barry Manilow button as a birthday present, he responded…

"My button? You want my button? You’re half my age. Elton John, now he as two buttons – here and here."(Putting his hands on his backside.)

Well, thanks to Fellow Fanilow, I now have a very nice button. I also have an understanding of the multi tiered slot machine. If you get two cherries, an orange, three pineapples and one Carmen Miranda – that is good. But if it is two Carmens, one cherry, one orange and a fruit basket is not good. Or wait, maybe it is if Carmen is staring at you cross-eyed that you win, or lose. Maybe I have a lot more to learn before I getting into the super secret high stakes games.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Viva Las Vegas

2007-04-30T20:32:00.000-07:00

The birthday weekend got off to a surprisingly good start – beginning at the airport where doodah!, Fellow Fanilow and I met a lovely semi-retired anesthesiologist who lives in Vegas. I say semi-retired because there is a doctor that she has partnered with for many years who moved his practice to the foothills of California. Whenever he has a serious surgery he flies her in for the day. I guess with the pressure of surgery, you’d want someone you know and trust on the keeping-the-patient-out-but-not-dead end of things. All I’ve got to say is that the money had better be pretty darn good because the flight’s an hour and a half and the drive is more than another couple of hours. Anywho, she gave us the lowdown on the place locals go for a weekend buffet – the same food as the casinos on the strip but only a third the price. She also let us know that if you are going to see Cirque Da Sole, while both are dazzling, Mystere has a better storyline than O and is more elegant. So put that in the corner pocket of your mind for future getaway plans.

After we got our rental car (which we lovingly referred to as our muscle gangsta car) and checked into our room – which had little munchkins bouncing off the walls hopped up on lollipops (get it, munchkins…lollipops…) – it was 2:30 AM and we were starving and buzzed on over stimulation. So off to the Bellagio Café for a super late night supper. Easy-peasy, right? Ha! Vegas may be eager to fill your every whim when you are in the super secret high stakes Kino game room (I know they exist somewhere, I know they do dang nab it), but if you are an ordinary couple of Janes wanting a BLT at 3 AM you’re going to have to learn the lessons of waiting. Not only did it take three people to get customers to their tables and take orders, the wait staff had an unwritten rule that they were not to communicate with each other verbally (it probably throws gamblers off their mojo) so they have some Helen Keller strung out on crack hand signal system, which no one understood and had to walk over and whisper in the other’s ear. If they point three fingers in the air while facing east and flicking the wrist clockwise means seat these two people away from the kitchen door and get them water with ice. A counterclockwise flick of the wrist means no ice.

But the best part of the night came as we were standing outside with middle aged men and their, well lets just assume they are their daughters. As we were languishing in line, this guy with a white satin tracksuit with teal writing and his friend came strutting in past the hostess and two assistants, totally ignoring the hand signals. A flurry of staff stumbled over themselves shooing him back to the front. Let’s pick up the dialogue here:

Tracksuit Man: Do you know who I am?
Mousey Hostess: No sir, but you have to wait until the others have been seated.
TM: Do you know who I am? We are RF & BD, (which sounded like r f’n bd, as in real f’n big deal). I wait for nobody. Get Tom on the line and you’ll find out I don’t wait for nobody.

I don’t know who Tim was, but he got RF & BD a table, sitting just far enough away from us that we got to see him periodically stand up, take off his jacket and walk past the mirrors admiringly flexing his muscles – all for our entertainment. We would have taken a picture, but I think he knew people who could hurt us and make it look like an accident.　But anytime you feel frustrated and that you deserve better, feel free to shout out, "I'm RF'NBD and I don't wait for nobody!"

Coming up next, the Music and Passion.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Me and Elvis

2007-04-23T11:15:00.000-07:00

One month ago two incredibly dear friends took me on the ride of my life to celebrate my 40th birthday. Yes that is right, the big four-oh. By the way, I am to tell you that my mother, who is too young to have a child this old, adopted me when I was 20 and she was 14 years old.

So where did we go, you may ask? Was it to the raging nightlife of Boise? Duluth? Omaha? These are all very fine cities in their own right. But for a milestone birthday we headed for the bright lights of the Los Vegas Strip.

There were a few goals that we had:
1) Convince someone to let us be brides maids at their Las Vegas Chapel-o-Love wedding.
2) Find an Elvis. We got so busy that goals one and two dropped down on the things-we-gotta-do list. However, I found out that the head of our math department was hitched at the Vegas Graceland Chapel where you can have your choice of Elvis, gold lamé young Elvis and the flashy, sequined, 70's cape and jumpsuit Elvis, perform the wedding.
3) Visit all the places in Ocean's 11
and quote as many lines as possible. Fortunately the only line I can remember is, "If you don't shut up I am going to eat your whole head."
4) And the major reason we went to Vegas is to see The Man in action. Yes, I am talking about Berry Manilow. What can I say, he writes the songs that make the whole world sing.

There is more to come. So please stay tuned.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Only The Soul Can Perceive What the Eye Sees

2007-04-15T21:11:00.000-07:00

I am finally back. So much of what I was writing was either rushed or trite. It got tiring. I would love to say that I put a self-imposed hiatus until I got inspired or emotionally and spiritually refueled. That is partially true. I was tapped and writing anything beyond drivel was too much work. So a combination of lack of inspiration and laziness has kept me procrastinating until suddenly an entire month has gone by. I have to remember the advice of many professional writers - that they set aside time every day to write - even if they do not feel inspired. So, while I am going to try and minimize the drivel, I am going back to the discipline of posting weekly, starting today. The title of this post came from a sign in Yosemite - one of the most beautiful places God ever His mark on.

On our second day there, My Sweet and I went on a hike to Vernal Falls, and this was our first real hike since the onset of winter. The walk was glorious and a challenge at first. But I felt pretty good because I was keeping up with a couple of very fit 20 somethings. At first. By the end of the first leg I had dad's carrying toddlers passing me up. But a sweet East Indian granny and I were going neck and neck.
The next leg of the trek was only 0.3 miles to the falls. I figured there was no problem - it is more than that when I walk from my house to the neighborhood grocery store. No problem, right? What that little trail sign did not mention was that the 1/3-mile was practically straight up. You may be thinking to yourself that is no big deal. Well imagine this: you decide to go check out the view from the top of the Empire State building - and take the stairs! I do not care how buff you are, by the fifth floor you'll be huffing and puffing.

Even the bundle of energy 5th graders, who had zoomed by earlier, needed to stop for breaks. They were talking so seriously about their video games, getting quite philosophical. Discussions of all things electronic was acceptable for them to do in the midst of glorious beauty - they were eight years old and didn't know any better. This was not acceptable behavior for the full grown adult a few feet above talking on his cell to his wife and children three floors behind us. Not only is using a cell phone on a hike ascetically and dare I say morally wrong, but hey Mister if you get distracted on these mist covered pillars of death you'll slip and come crashing down on me.

The trip up to the fabulous falls took like about 5 hours. The trip down could have been 15 minutes if I just stopped, dropped and rolled - like Dick Van Dyke taught me back in the day. Instead we took a longer loop down that was 1.6 miles, but was a cakewalk. And now I need to go soak my aching body in a nice hot bath.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Elvis and Me

2007-03-15T17:59:00.000-07:00

I am off to Vegas Baby for a girls' weekend and a milestone birthday. Plus we are on the hunt for the quintessential Elvis-wannabe. More stories to come.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Drowning at the Lake House - Whoa!

2007-03-10T16:43:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of February, My Sweet and I rented the sappy romantic movie The Lake House that once again paired the adorable Sandra Bullock - who I think would have made a wonderful elfish princess in LOTR - with award winning Keanu Reeves. Yes, I am relatively certain that Mr. Reeves won the "Largest Number of Emotions Attempted With One Tone" prize. He also was the recipient of the 2000 "Surprising Inability to Damage the Matrix.” Mr. Reeves as also achieved the Grand Masters level of the use of the phrase "whoa” as in, "Whoa, I know karate." (The Matrix) Or, "Whoa, I look darn good strolling through mist covered grapevines." (A Walk In the Clouds) And finally there is, "Whoa, I just made a deal with the devil so I can be in a Shakesphere movie." (Much to do About Nothing)

Now don't get me wrong, there are several things I appreciate about Mr. Reeves. First of all he is a very pretty man. He wasn't kidding about looking good in A Walk in the Clouds. In addition, my favorite high school comedy of all times is Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure - it way beats the pants off of Mike Myers' Wayne's Word. He was good in Parenthood, he was the same character but with a real girlfriend. Speed was his pushing the envelope role as the mono-emotional cop who would risk messing up his hair in order to save the lives of the innocent. But seriously, that is it. Every few minutes of the Lake House had me writhing on the floor because this role called for more emoting than what King Whoa could give. I could go along with the suspended belief of time traveling love letters. I could even put up with the predictability of the ending. But add to this Keanu's emotional stuntedeness, well it is a trifecta that I just could not handle.

The next week we rented United 93, and I was overcome with realization that the real life professional air traffic, who played themselves in the film, were showing a greater variety of believable emotions than Mr. Keanu Reeves.

On a more cheerful note, if you are a fan of The Office - check out Dwight and Michaell trying to bring sexy back.
Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Beating the Blues

2007-02-16T17:58:00.000-08:00

Last weekend My Sweet and I celebrated our anniversary by trekking out to our fine capitol city in order to check out BMG. No, not the music company, which sends you a new CD every month even if you send back their stupid card saying you don't desire and defiantly don't want to spend hard earned cash on the American Idol Runners-up Compilation. We went to see the percussionist commentators on society - the Blue Man Group. Take a look at these forearms of titanium steel.

I loved the not so subtle jibes, especially ones not pertaining to me, that comprise the rules of becoming a megastar. One that made me laugh Pepsi out my nose was that a megastar needs to have choreographed moves. The audience will be distracted and thus won't notice the lack of musical talent. Humm, I can not think of a single substanceless singer who mostly is known for looking good in videos and appealing to preteens who haven’t developed a sense of depth in the music they listen to. Sorry, I mean I don't know any young pop megastars who uses this method. This includes pop megastars with hair issues and getting too old to appeal to preteenies and haven't had a big hit in a very long time and thus have to find extreme ways to stay in the news despite the danger or neglect to their infant children, not to mention embarrassment these children may feel when they grow up and have to be reminded by their classmates that their mother, or father, did something that was so horribly revealing. Ok, that was snarky and grammatically convoluted on my part.

And while the BMG was mock-mimicking conformity in work and personal life, they were also commenting on how something like a concert is a communal event where we, at least for a wile, watch, say and experience the same thing. This is noted in the following rule of the Blue Man Megastar Manual.

Concert Movement #237 Taking the audience on a Jungian journey into the collective unconscious by using the shadow as a metaphor for the primal self that gets repressed by the modern persona and also by using an underground setting and labyrinth office design to represent both the depths of the psyche and the dungeon-like isolation of our increasingly mechanistic society which prevents people from finding satisfying work or meaningful connections with others.

In this society of instant messaging, headphones and buying on line, it is kind of nice to be reminded to have some communal experiences every once in a while. It does something for the soul.

And by the way, I just spent the last quarter of an hour playing with Concert Movement # 37 Floppie the Banjo Clown.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

１８２5 Days

2007-02-08T18:00:00.000-08:00

The time right now is 6:00 pm. It was 157680000 seconds, or 2628000 minutes, or 43800 hours, or 1825 days, or 5 years ago from this moment that my friends doodah and Fellow Fanilow were doing up my hair and fixing boutonniere bungles.

While I could sit at the feet of those who have stayed with each other for decades, there are a few things I have learned.

1. I totally understand why honeymoons are ideally a couple of weeks long; it takes a good two weeks to be able to sleep the night through. No, not because of that. Every time he rolled over or got restless legs I'd wake up. If I had to get up early in the morning I'd have been a grouchy Grendel, which I was.

2. Love is not red roses. I can buy my own flowers. Instead My Sweet is the one who will go out in the rain to get the car from the parking lot. He is the one who, even though he isn't going to sleep for several hours, would come snuggle with me until I fell asleep.

3. There is something more effective in winning an argument then well timed tears, willingness to give up, temporarily, and the control of the remote.

4. When we were dating, My Sweet often asked me my opinion about things. Now I can say something and he acts as if I am a talking rag doll. The same words come out of my brother in law, neighbor, mechanic or recycling collector are not only pearls of wisdom, but down right diamond encrusted crown jewels. So get your recycling collector to tell your spouse what you want them to do.

5. If the crying/remote thing doesn't work twist something they say so you can reply, "So, are you saying you think I am fat?" They have nowhere to stand after that.

6. (I was going for one point per year, but I plan to be married for year six.) PMS and stress at work are no reason to snap at each other. Him eating the last of the good chocolate or putting his Netflix movie above mine - that is when becoming a snapping turtle with lockjaw is constitutional.

So, for people married less than me here are some words of advice (just pretend your recycle guy told you). And for people married more than half a decade, please feel free to leave any gold encrusted pearl of wisdom.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Switchfoot Quiz

2007-01-26T18:13:00.000-08:00

I have a few friends who are true fans and I also totally enjoy them. If you haven't heard them, check them out here. I love their philosophy. They are people who believe in Jesus with all their hearts and are seeking to make the world a more positive place. However they do not want to be limited to being a Christian band. Having had to tell students to turn off music that talks about slapping women and beating up police, I am over the moon that there are some bands that they listen to which may encourage them to see the the good things God has put into life.

Your switchfoot song is 68%

Meant to Live, This song depics how we as human were meant to live for some much more and you wonder if you've lost you self!

wich switchfoot song are you
Create a Quiz

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

If I Ran the World

2007-01-25T18:53:00.000-08:00

Not that I am a megalomaniac or anything, but I have a few ideas about how the world should be run. This is excluding the usual peace on earth, end of diseases, and all good-looking men working for me type of things. Here is what I would do:

1. Pay teachers, police, firemen, home health care workers, nurses and other public servants $50 million for a three year contract and have legislators, sports players and movie stars work their craft because it is what they love to do.

2. Orchids would grow prolifically while weeds would need a vast amount of TLC if they were to survive.

3. Everyone gets at least two laughing breaks each day, a prescription for mental health.

4. Flats would make your hinie look just as sexy as heels without the pain (or towering over the totally cute but slightly short significant others, or significant other hopefuls).

5. Every time you told a lie - besides the little white ones - you would quack like a duck.

6. Saturday and Sunday would be 30 hours each.

7. Trash cans would smell like freshly baked sugar cookies.

8. People would not have to work on their birthdays.

9. Parks and museums would be free.

10. The government could only take 10% for taxes. If God could run the worldwide church on 10%, then Uncle Sam can take care of one country.

Man it is good to be queen.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Top 5

2007-01-20T10:41:00.000-08:00

My favorite part of the movie High Fidelity is when the clerks of a record shop - Jack Black and Todd Louiso at their funniest - arguing their "top five best" lists. So I am going to give my top five list of something every once in a while. They will not necessarily be in any particular order. Also my list may change if I remake the list a day later. It would make things more fun if you add some of your ideas to the list, or argue that I am full of bullpucky for my idea.

So here are my top five best movies to watch to fight the winter blahs.

1. Return to Me. Watching four men who have been friends forever have the most wonderful banter. And Bonnie Hunt - writer, director and supporting actor - has humor that makes me smile.

2. Yankee Doodle Dandy. No matter how you feel about flag waving, no one can watch the stage hoofing of Cagnie without having more spring in their step.

3. Lord of the Rings - good for any time of the year.

4. Zoolander - my go to movie for mindless good humor.

5. 24 - OK it is a TV show, but we have the season 1-5 DVDs and nothing like a good shot of adrenaline to perk one up.

What do you watch when it's cold and gray outside?

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Book Covers

2007-01-11T18:11:00.000-08:00

It started out innocently enough.

The Friday before Christmas My Sweet and I went to my boss' place, in another city, for an open house party. It was the first day of vacation, I didn't have to teach in the morning, so I was enjoying a good bit of nog with my egg, as well as a couple of glasses of warm mulled wine. I was feeling pretty relaxed.

After our agreed upon 60 minutes, I grabbed my jacket and purse as we headed out the door to have a coffee and play some Connect Four at the funky coffee joint we truly love. This place is fabulous not so much because of the coffee, but the people watching is awesome. At one table was a little septuagenarian decked out in her fur trimmed coat with matching hat and sipping her drink through a straw using the side of her mouth (it doesn't mess up the lipstick). Then there was the group of 20 year olds with cherubic faces and studded leather collars. We made some jokes as they rearranged the tables to play the 21st century version of Dungeons and Dragons.

The next event for the evening was to go watch some of the amazing neighborhood lights. We strolled through the neighborhoods admiring the sheer amount of wattage (I have to buy stock in the electric company next winter!). Finally we headed back to our sweet hometown.

As we took our exit, there was that niggling feeling at the base of my skull I get when my subconscious isn't quite ready to let me know I have made a mistake, especially one I will have to humbly tell someone about. But once we parked and I stepped out of the car I knew it was true. My purse was nowhere to be found. The scatterbrain had struck again.

OK, so after a momentary panic I decided to call my cell phone, which was at the bottom of my purse along with the house keys, school keys, credit cards and a half-off coupon. Maybe I could contact the person who found my forgotten bag or beg the petty thief to take the cash and leave the things that are useful only to me. It's ringing. Ringing. Come on, pick up! Dang, my voice mail. Try again. This time straight to voice mail. Some stinking SOB has pinched my purse and turned off my phone! But wait there may be another explanation (there goes my subconscious playing tricks on me again).

I call the kooky cafe to have the barista double check and see if I left it on my chair, but he didn't see it. Argh, that fricking pocket picking perp! I am going to have to replace all that stuff. I know it was one of those people at the cafe. The "matching hat" biddy and the "fishnet cherubs" gave a comfortable friendly first impression, but really I knew nothing about them. Old grannies have been known to pull a heist or two. The group of punks needs to somehow support their gaming habit. Oh may pigs fly out of the sky and poop on their heads.

Nothing left to do but look in the cafe myself. We drive there and My Sweet lets me jump out of the car while he seeks a parking spot. I run in and check my table, and hiding under a customer's foot was my bag. One of the fishnet players said, "Oh sweetie, if we had seen it there we would have totally held it for you."

I guess the adage is true. Never have more than one drink at your boss' party, no matter if you don't have to teach in the morning. And don't judge a book by its cover

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

New Years Resolutions

2006-12-27T19:34:00.000-08:00

It is that time of year again. The time to look at your life and decide what the heck is wrong with you and overnight you are to change them all. So here are some of my goals to strive for in 2007.

1. Eat cookie dough - which not only satisfies my sweet tooth, but totally freaks out My Sweet.

2. Spend time outside wondering and wandering

3. Read one challenging and one fluff book a month.

4. Leave work on time each day - ready for tomorrow. You never know what is going to happen the next morning.

5. Find one thing daily to laugh about. I know, grammar aficionados are laughing at the fact that an English teacher ended a sentence with a preposition.

6. Give as much attention to My Sweet as I do my classes. His is the life that my interactions will affect the most.

What are you striving for?

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Bah Humbug

2006-12-19T22:35:00.000-08:00

Some people have too much time on their hands, and they are obviously not filling it with the Christmas Spirit, came up with the improbability of Santa's sleigh ride.

The Physics of Santa Claus

1. No known species of reindeer can fly.
2.There are 91.8 million homes where one presumes there's at least one good child.
3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, and assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
4. The sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa.
5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. They will burst into flames almost instantaneously.

Here is what I have to say to this!

1. Any one who has done their research knows that Santa's reindeer are a known species of reindeer given their power by magic corn from the Winter Warlock (see the award winning documentary Santa Clause is Coming to Town).

2. You can not presume there is a good kid in each home.

3. Santa's sleigh is not man-made, it is made with elvis magic. (No, this is not a typo - check out the first Lord of the Rings movie if you do not believe me) Therefore it is conceivable that Santa can time-warp, multiply himself or freeze time. He loaned it to Hermione in to off season so she could get all of her class work done.

4. Again elvis magic, weren't you paying attention before?

5. The fir of the reindeer acts as insulation to protect everyone. And as I said before, elvis magic. Besides, I learned in science class that heat is energy and energy is what makes things go. So isn't it possible that the heat of re-entry gives the sleigh the fuel to go further and faster?

So there you go, all of you humbug spreaders, and to all the Virginias everywhere. Christmas is about magic. Man can not begin to comprehend it all. "But Jesus beheld them, 'With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible'." —Matthew 19:26

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

It comes and goes

2006-12-17T18:44:00.000-08:00

Many days I drive away from school, where I teach at risk teenagers, I sure that I am not getting through to the students and pretty sure that I am going to hand the reigns over to someone else next year. This week I had a couple of days that allowed me to doubt my ineffectiveness.

On Wednesday at the end of school, we had a meeting with Student B and his mom. Perfect Teacher was concerned because B's behavior had deteriorated over all since last year. I wanted to go because I wanted his mother to know that while he was a major pain in the behind, since we had changed his classes, he had greatly improved. Even earlier that day B came into class surly and definitely not in the mood to work. He sat quietly in to back and I gave him the day's handout and told him that as long as he was not disruptive I would let him be. He was fine with that, where as a few months ago he would have blown up and told me in no uncertain terms to get out of his face.

At the meeting, even before I had the change to tell his mother the positive changes, B said "Ms. H is my hommie. She just lets me be when I am up set." Unsolicited he called me his hommie! That has NEVER happened before with any student. The rest of the meeting was heart breaking. B's mother cried as she confessed that B has been acting disrespectfully at home and that B's parents do not know what to do with him. At one point B struggled to keep his composure stating, "You make me out to be America's Most Wanted!" We ended the meeting with B agreeing to meet once a week with the school counselor. I have a lot of hope for this kid. First of all he has parents who, though frustrated, care enough to come to school and talk, really talk. There are many parents we have begged to come meet with us, and we have never seen them. Secondly B's near tears shows that his heart hasn't hardened yet. So there is hope for B.

There was another thing that made Wednesday a good day. During the last period of the day Student J asked me a question. "Hey Ms H., how many kids did you have to send out today?" I actually had to take a moment and think about it for a minute before I told J that for the first time that year I did not have to send anyone out of class or give any detentions! Unfortunately Thursday more than made up for it, I reveled in the fact that Wednesday was a good day. Friday was pretty good, too. It was the end of the week, and nearing the end of the grading period, so I was creatively dry and had the kids work on vocabulary puzzles. But they had fun and were using the words, so who is anyone to judge.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Putting on the Ritz

2006-12-16T09:05:00.000-08:00

Did you know that the father of Everyone Loves Raymond had John Lennon for a best man? Or that as a young man he was a monk? This was a man who turned down the lead role in The French Connection because he was being type cast as the tough guy, and he was impressed by Gene Hackman's performance.
This weekend I will have to watch Young Frankenstein and While You Were Sleeping.
Rest in Peace Mr. Boyle.

MASH

2006-12-08T18:09:00.000-08:00

What do you think of when you see MASH? The award-winning movie staring Donald Sutherland as a wacky Korean War doctor? The Emmy winning TV show with darling Alan Alda? Or do you remember getting together with your girlfriend in the playground to foretell who you will marry and how you will live? Would you live in a Mansion, an Apartment, a Shack or a House? My friend Dot-Kat found a way to play MASH on line.

I tried this on line game, but for some reason it wouldn’t narrow down my choices to just one. This so reflects my personality! Maybe it means I still have some major live changes awaiting me. I will at one point be living in a shack and at another point I will have a house. I hope the shack is first! However, I will be living in Hawaii and Italy. So to be honest a shack in either of those places is none to shabby. Having a shack on the beach in Hawaii could fit the whole Moondoggie surfer/beach bum scene.

And what will I be doing with my life? Well thank you for asking. I will not be trudging about in some cubicle cutting out Dilbert comics and replacing the characters names with those of my coworkers. No, I will be working for World Vision, a columnist and a novelist. Sitting in front of my shack watching the waves and typing out witty observations of life sounds like a dream come true for me right now.

I will be tootling around the islands or the streets of Naples in one of the following: an Aston Martin, Herbie the Love Bug(the 1969 version), Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or the truck from the Beverly Hillbillies. I just hope the silver Aston Martin is in Italy and the truck is the dust colored one.

When they asked about husbands, I did not put My Sweet. As much as I love him, what is the fun in that? For this I am going to throw out a possible time line. First I will marry Jack Bower, who for the sake of national security will have to make the gut wrenchingly difficult decision to fake his death and go into hiding. Of course he will love me so much that he will not let me in on this secret for my own safety. Them I will hook up with Sawyer, who will be my bad boy with a hidden heart of gold, but he will have commitment issues. Finally Hugh Jackman will sweep me and my 3-10 children (you can't work for World Vision and not adopt a few of them) off our feet and we will live happily ever after.

Play the game yourself and let me know what the future holds for you.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Fall on Your Knees

2006-12-05T19:59:00.000-08:00

Tis the season to write about the rush of the season and the true meaning of Christmas. Well, I chose the title Jump on the Bandwagon for a reason. So here it goes.

Halloween is all about the decorations, costumes and candy. St. Patrick's day is about green beer. Thanksgiving is dinner, and Valentines Day is about chocolate hearts. In American pop culture says that Christmas is about consumerism and showing others up.

I get caught up in things, including stressing about work until the break. But this year I want to take time to remember what this holiday is about. On one level it is about remembering the joy of family and friends - how there are many more delights in people than we usually see, and how our lives would be more flat and gray without them.

On a deeper level it is a time to remember how grey our lives would be without God wanting a relationship with us. This is a time to contemplate and celebrate. One of my favorite carols is “Oh Holy Night”, and I always pause when I hear the lines:

Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appear'd and the soul felt its worth.

I love the line about the soul felt its worth. I hope this doesn't sound preachy, but I have found truth in the fact that the deeper my relationship with Christ is, the more richness I find in myself and in the world around me.

Celebrating does include decorating the house, giving gifts and watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas. But when these things become the focus, then I have lost the Spirit of Christmas. So I have brought in our Charlie Brown Christmas tree (it is a living tree. I don't begrudge those who cut down a tree, but I like keeping the same one for several years and eventually planting them) and will eventually trim it. However it isn't to be a stress - my soul is worth a lot more than that.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Reader Quiz

2006-11-27T10:42:00.000-08:00

I got this quiz from Plain and Simple.

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Dedicated Reader You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more.
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Book Snob
Literate Good Citizen
Fad Reader
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

I find its pretty much true for my attitude.

Take the quiz yourself and let me know what kind of reader you are.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Bad Girls, Bad Girls, Wachja Gonna Do?

2006-11-26T11:10:00.000-08:00

Well, this entire week I have been struck down with a bronchial infection, so I will continue to write about the only fun night I have had during the week. Therefor it is back to the slumber party. Whoo Hoo!

After the fun and games at the bowling alley, we stopped by the store for some much needed supplies - toilet paper, Oreo cookies and plastic forks. I know what you are thinking - midnight picnic. Wrong-a-rino. Instead we went and ambushed to front yard of the birthday girl's friend. We not only toilet papered the tree, car and front porch, but we also Oreo-ed and forked the place. Now I have done the Oreo thing before. That is where you take off one side of cookie sandwich and press the creamy part against a wall. You can then spell out something or create a lovely picture. Just be nice and don't Oreo someone's car window - the grease from the filling is annoyingly hard to get off. The other thing we did to that poor landscape was to fork it. What you do is take a box full of disposable forks and stick them prong side down all over the yard - making a lovely design if you wish. Hopefully this does a bit of aerating for the lawn. Now do not forget, dear reader, that this happened after 11:00 PM, in the dark of night while the owners were in their living room watching TV. We could have been caught at any minute! The tension was intense!

Mission accomplished, we headed home for drinks! Dolores (or Deidre or Delaney or Dingus) was tended bar and joyfully shouted, "My first blended drink!" To this she quickly added that it was her first time making one, not actually drinking them. Well, for her first one, they were delicious. And we spent the rest of the party enjoying Dolores’s work, talking about life, looking at You Tube and watching two hours of Tony Bandares. Man, did it get hot when Antonio danced the tango. There is a bit more I may have to add to confession. After all that we were all ready for the slumber part of the party.

Now doodah! knows who to put the video on the actual blog, and someday I may figure it out, too. But remember I am the one who screwed up the bowling technology. So instead I will send you to the You Tube cite. One of my favorites from You Tube is the Steven Colbert Light Saber Green Screen Challenge. He shot a clip of him in a light saber duel against a green screen and challenged viewers to create their own clips. Some were pretty funny, so check them out on the side bar. My Sweet's favorite was the one sent in by viewer George L.

Oh, I learned from My Sweet, who makes me swear that he is not a geek, informed my that there is a trick for the shooting video games. Instead of pointing away from screen to reload, all you have to do is put a finger over the sensor, that way you don't have to re-aim. No Sweetie, you are NOT a geek.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Proud to be an American

2006-11-20T17:13:00.000-08:00

Sometimes my country makes me so proud that I just need to puff my chest out like a bald eagle. What have we done do make me bust my buttons, check out below.

I know most of you do not remember, but a few years ago there was a small subdued crime and trial about this obscure athlete, think popular breakfast drink, who was accused of murdering his ex-wife and her gentleman friend.

Well, this media shy sportsman has dedicated his life to searching high and low for the real killer. If you study his search pattern, he must suspect the true killer is a caddie. Well, for the first time ever Mr. Juice has done something very tacky. Although he swears that he is not the murderer, he was going on Fox TV to say IF he had done it, this is how he would have killed them. So his children were going to be exposed to how hypothetically their daddy could have killed their mommy. How horrible! How truly horrible. And it seems that I am not the only one who feels this way, hence the being all proud thing. There was such a backlash that Fox, which has aired shows that pitted elephants and dwarves and Temptations Island, has canceled the show. Not only that, but they have canceled the book as well. This second bit is going to cause them to lose a lot of money since the books have already been printed. But people uproared and they were heard.

So if you will excuse me now, I need to put on some Lee Greenwood while I sew a flag onto something

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Girls will be Girls

2006-11-19T10:07:00.000-08:00

On Friday I went - would you believe it - to an old fashioned slumber party to celebrate my friend Fellow Fanilow's 36th birthday. It was me, Fanilow, doodah and three other women who I am getting to enjoy more and more.

It all began innocently enough. We all donned our pj's and prepared to go out for Chinese fast food. It's a good thing I had just gotten a new pair of flannels or I'd have been going around town in my dad's old gray super-sized tee shirt and some scrubs pants that a) totally do not match and b) are way too cold for a November evening. Doodah in the past has dressed Fanilow and she was the only one in costume. This year we were being nice and supportive and all going around in our jammies.

After dinner, where the place was packed with pre-weekend folks including someone I work with, we high-tailed it over to the local bowling alley. Again it was packed; anyone who was not at a loud and messy frat party was there at the bowling ally. While waiting for a lane to open, we were being impressed by this young fella doing Dance Dance Revolution. Not only was he getting a perfect score, but he was playing on two-yes count them two - game pads! After exercising our suppressed desire to drive super fast and shoot zombie terrorists, the young man was still at it and didn't even break a sweat. His mother and banker must be proud. The other person worth watching was longhaired air hockey playing dad who bowling was so stylish that he glided across the floor on one knee, ready to pop the question to the bowling pins.

It has been a while since I've actually done any bowling, and a majority of it was in the late 70's when I was a little tyke. The scorecard was done on some kind of overhead projector and you had to write and calculate everything by yourself. You had to remember if a spare was ten plus the next spin or was it the next two? Now everything is computerized which causes two problems. The first is that you can't cheat - no slipping a one in front of your score or marking a strike symbol when it should have been a spare. The second problem is that low techies like me can screw it up in a way that doesn't help you win. While the others were putting on their shoes, I figured I would get a jump on things and input our names. I do not know what I did, but I could only get one name up there. I had to make three trips to the counter where the girl tried unsuccessfully to hide her bewilderment at my inability to accomplish such simple tasks. Eventually she simply put in Player A, B, C, D and E. So we decided to cheer each other on with made up names, so in one round we were whooping it up for Aretha, Beulah, Constance, Dolores and Eunice. The next round was for Agatha, Bertha Jo, Consuelo, Dusty Sue and Elinore.

Well this post is pretty long, so I will put in a To Be Continued...

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Sorry

2006-11-14T18:30:00.000-08:00

Hi folks. The past week I have just not had the energy to do much more than add a couple of short comments on people's posts. Sorry. But I am reading everyone and for the most part enjoying them greatly. Please stay tuned for something more interesting to come.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Attempting a new post

2006-11-06T19:38:00.000-08:00

Well, I have tried several times to post a blog, but each time I tried to publish Blogger shot up a sign that said, "Hey we are screwing up something and have now lost the best post you have ever written." So I am just going to share a few thoughts and sightings. Oh and a spoiler alert for Lost fans who haven't seen last week's episodes or if you don't watch the show - don't read #3.

1) Last week we had our first real rain. On my way home I saw a 50-something businessman riding his bicycle home. Now in my town, which has more bikes than people, it is not unusual to see a person in business casual cycling to work. What was strange is that he had the freshman stripe. College freshmen quickly learn that they need to have some kind of fender or when they ride in the rain dirty water shoots up their backside. And this guy had it bad. Every time he was at a stoplight he would scratch it. Even though it shouldn't, it made me chuckle.

2) What do you do when your doctor calls in sick? I took a very precious sick day, plus stayed way late prepping for my sub. I have nothing more to say about this; it was just a frustration for the week.

3) Here is the Lost bit, so you may want to stop reading. Really, unless you are an up to date fan, stop reading. I can not believe they killed off Mr. Echo! and in such a lame way! Last season he became my favorite character - not including Sawyer whom I like strictly for his bad boy sex appeal. Last year there was a superb episode called Psalm 23 where Echo faces down not only the monster, but also his own struggle with good and evil. But in this one he let evil win, and I am not necessarily talking about the island monster. He was proud, arrogant, unrepentant and he died. Oh, and I do not trust the doctor chick. She is part of the mind game.
The moral of the story is that if the actor who plays you gets in trouble with the law, you will get killed!

4) My husband's friend just got voted off the island. I am actually surprised she made it this far. She is a person who wears her heart on her sleeve, and that does not bode well in this show of alliances and selfishness. So now we no longer need to watch it, that is until the last episode to see if the cute Asian guy wins.

Well, that's all folks.

How have you all been this week?

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Meandering

2006-10-27T17:35:00.000-07:00

You know the clichés: "Life is a rat race", "He who hesitates is lost", "Run with the wolves". But you also have "Running on empty" or "If you are on the go all the time, life sucks". Ok, I made that last one up, but it is true.

Last weekend I spent the day with Refreshing Sunshine doing nothing but sitting outside and letting our minds meander wherever they roamed.

When I lived in Romania, we had time to meander, mentally as well as physically. As we walked to work, our brains could take in the sights, run through the plan of the day (not plans), or play the "what if" game. As we waited for the bus that may or may not come, we had the time to diddle with possibilities of the other passengers, what was the relationship between the man in the wool sweater and woman in the hat? Maybe they are spouses who have been happily married for 15 years - childhood sweethearts. Maybe they are in an illicit affair. Maybe former KGB agents now working as free agent mercenaries. We had the free time and free mental space to do this.

The US prides itself on time saving devices, but more often than not this produces an atmosphere of expecting to do more with the time saved. So our free time is not free.

We need time to meander, something we used to call play. Kids should go out and let their imagination wander - making up games with bizarre rules. In the third grade my friends and I would play a game called Gorilla. It had something to do with an obstacle course in the living room and the kid who was "it" jumping off the couch, growling and trying to tap the others' heads. Each day the rules were not quite remembered, so we made new ones up.

Adults need to play. Sometimes with actual balls and rules, ink and paper, blogs and comments. Sometimes we need to just let our brains meander and wonder what kind of bird is singing right now. Was Classic Coke really better than New Coke? Has my favorite show jumped the shark, and if so do I want to stop watching? How cool would it be to cross a lemon tree with a lavender bush?

The ancient Greeks actually had a winding river called Meander. Meandering can lead us to amazing adventures. How many road trip movies actually have the characters on a tight schedule getting from point A to point B? Rivers are teaming with life, sustenance and refreshment - just as mental meandering can revitalize our soul.

And the river Meander is deep, but not very wide. In our meandering we do not need to solve all of our life's quandaries. Ponder and play with one thing - one idea. It may lead you off track on another topic. If it does, more power to ya!

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

50 things meme

2006-10-25T22:53:00.000-07:00

It is my 50th blog, which by blog law I am requires me to do a 50 things meme. (If you have 50 posts but haven't done this, consider yourself tagged and get to it toot sweet!)

I did not feel like doing all 50 questions, so here are some.

Fifty Things Meme

1. My roommate and I once: hitch hiked with gypsies after exchanging money on the Romanian black market.

2. Never in my life have I: danced naked in a meadow at twilight. I think mosquito bites in delicate places discourages that idea.

3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile is: any one of my students - they drive me nuts, but can turn on the charm when they want to.

4. High school was: A blast - I knew where I was going, how the world was supposed to run, and if there was something I didn't know I knew where to get the answer.

5. When I'm nervous: I ramble and jump to random topics, and munch on very sweet or starchy things.

6. The last time I cried was: during the last sappy movie, commercial or TV show. My husband always looks at me during a sentimental part of a movie to see if I am tearing up.

7. If I were to get married right now, my bridesmaids would be: The same. But the flower girl would be my new niece (if it is not too un-cool for a teenager to do).

8. Would you rather run naked through a crowded place or have someone e-mail your deepest secret to all your friends? Any chance for an exhibition!

9. My hair: Is very fine and flat. I never know what to do with it. But I like being blond. Thanks Mom.

10. When I was 5: I had my first proposal of marriage. Mark also proposed to my best friend, but insisted he liked me best.

12. When I turn my head left: My neck cracks at least three times

14. When I look down I see: boobs striving to reach my bellybutton.

15. The craziest recent event: is found somewhere in my blog. Go look and comment.

16. If I were a character on "Friends": I'd love to be Phoebe, but probably more like Ross with a bit of Chandler.

19. I have a hard time understanding: why our government is not stricter on drunk drivers (in Romania automatic 1 year suspension of your license on your first offence, plus a fine that was equivalent to three months of a teacher's salary.) We are also too soft on sex offenders (I vote for castration of the convicted!)

23. Take my advice: you will never be as young and as thin as you are now. So enjoy yourself! (I have read that some bloggers have lost over 80 pounds - congratulations on beating the odds!)

24. My ideal breakfast is: During the week some cottage cheese with dried cranberries or yogurt with granola. On the weekend omelets and country potatoes or waffles with raspberry syrup.

25. If you visit my town: I will take you to the dollar store that snuck in while the "slow growth" city council is protesting a Target coming to town.

29. The world could do without: thoughtless people.

30. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: clean port-a-potties.

31. The most recent thing I've bought myself: are some new under things. Nothing can make you feel more sexy and confident than good, new underclothing!

32. The most recent thing someone else bought for me is: blank transparencies for my overhead projector at work. Talk about nothing that can make you feel sexy!

33. My favorite red head is: Ron Weisley from Harry Potter, Anne Shirley form Anne of Green Gables, or Lucile Ball who is America's favorite redhead.

34. My favorite brunette is: Hugh Jackman. I could watch him for two hours in any kind of movie.

37. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds: other than pigs and monkeys, I think a flying whale would be graceful. A flying giraffe would be funny with its long limbs everywhere.

40. Last night I: fell asleep at 8:30 - right in the middle of Gilmore Girls!

42: The CDs on my player right now are: The Blues Brothers the Definitive Collection, Sting's 10 Sumner's Tails, Bruce Springsteen's We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions, and Switchfoot's Nothing is Sound.

44. If I ever go back to school I'll: take classes on how to do minor repairs on my car. I hate going to a mechanic having no idea about what is going on; fulfilling the "such a girl" stereotype.

45. How many days until my birthday? Just over 4 months. I will turn 40! My mother swears she adopted me when I was 21 because she is too young to have a daughter this age.

46. One dead celebrity I wish I'd met is: Well heck I'd love to meet any celebrity, but I would have loved to meet Mother Theresa and just sit at her feet and learn or CS Lewis.

48. I've been told I look like: Drew Barrymore

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

The Smells of Today

2006-10-20T17:47:00.000-07:00

What a day today. It started out with me loosing my cool during second period because for the second day in a row people let off stink bombs! Second day in a row! This time we did not go outside to work. I made them stay inside and work - if you could call what we actually accomplished that day work. It is a small school (48 kids total) so I know the students will find out who did it. In fact I am sure that the culprit is sitting at the lake bragging about how he - trust me, it was a he - was able to make me blow my top. I just hope that the students stuck in the stink will use peer pressure to get them to knock it off!

But the day ended with our first graduation of the year. Five young men have completed all their requirements to earn a high school diploma or completion certificate (this is for kids who meet all requirements except for passing the high school exit exam). Each student has a staff member give a speech about him. One student made sure that in his speech he said that he was sorry for giving a particular teacher a hard time. That particular teacher was - you guessed it - me. A dozen students looked over at me gave me a smile and head nod.

I know this speech should make everything all right. It should. Actually it did help because I could tell that he was sincere. But it doesn't quite. I had to put up a lot of crap from him, and from others who decided to follow his example. Why couldn't he have figured this out weeks or months before he left?

Well, we will see how things air out on Monday.

Is it bad that I know how many days of classes there are until Winter break?

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

My Weekend

2006-10-16T17:46:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if you are interested in my weekend exploits, but I am going to tell you anyway. And just like TV, if you are not interested, you are certainly free to turn off the machine. But I do hope you enjoy.

Even though there were only four days of school, it felt long. So I was so totally ready when Refreshing Sunshine and Fellow Fanilow restarted their monthly game night. I love the chance to chat with people I see once a month and talk about everything from missions outreach issues to how much of our wall space is given to bookshelves. The best thing is laughing at someone's phony poker face or playing Apples to Apples and winning because you can describe houseguests as chewy roadkill. I always leave the party with sore stomach muscles.

The next day My Sweet and I drove 90 miles up to my mothers, because she made it lovingly clear that we need to see each other face to face every couple of months. My sister and her family came up as well. One of her stepson did a research project on My Sweet and we wanted to see how it came out. Instead of bringing it, he brought some of his ideas for a Japanese style comic book. My Sweet gave him some advice to make it more authentically Japanese.

I am trying to think of something profound to tie this up, but on the way up to Mom's I came down with a bad cold. Therefore my profound-ability is out of whack. If you can think of something, please leave me a comment to give this post a good ending.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Funny things said to me today

2006-10-11T13:21:00.000-07:00

I am trying to remember that just because one class gave me some gray hairs, or another student threw a banana across the room and broke a window, it was not a totally bad day. In fact I think some of the strangest things happened or were said. Some are strange ha ha, some are just odd.

Student E, whose early use of drugs has put a serious hamper on his brain ability, joined a new class, and I knew it would be hard to catch him up with the novel we'd been reading all month. Another student gave a quick summary of what we've read so far, and I had them continue reading and answer the comprehension questions. E started his usual vacillating between talking to his friends about the party he went to last night and screaming over and over that he doesn't get what to do. So of course I snapped, "If you'd been paying attention then you'd know what has happened so far." He then rattled off the entire summary word for word. Egg on my face.

Student R, who was a major pain in the you-know-where last year, said something so amazingly mature. "I wish I had an older brother to set me straight. In elementary school I screwed around but figured I'd get my act together in middle school. I didn't and figured I could change at the high school. And then I screwed around in high school and ended up here. I am keeping my baby bro on the right path. He's getting straight A's and shit." My little man is showing signs of growing up.

Then today right out of the blue in the middle of grammar, student J asked, "Do raccoons run in packs?" After my confused admission that I have no idea, he continued, "I hooked one with a fishing pole and sardines when I was fishing at my friend's place."

You just never know what you will find out in school.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Ballet in the Sky

2006-10-10T18:56:00.000-07:00

This is ballet that even manly men would enjoy.

This past weekend My Sweet traveled down to San Francisco to watch the high light of Fleet Week - the Blue Angles. Now I am not one of those people who hyperventilate at the idea of spotting an A-10 over head. Heck I probably couldn't differentiate between that and an AK-47. But My Sweet does, so we went.

The Blue Angels were Amazing! It really was ballet in the sky! When they were in their famous diamond formation, they were as close as 18 inches apart! And they flew with such precision and grace. It took my breath away.

What takes your breath away?
Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

A Fresh New Day

2006-10-03T18:02:00.000-07:00

The red is fading a bit.
A weekend of old friends and videos helped. Getting together with college friends I haven't seen in years was refreshing. Although I did something I thought I never would. Amos asked about my trip to Japan, saying I probably had a lot of stories. And I did. But instead of launching into my escapades with high tech toilets, I told them to check out my blog's post. Can you believe it? I passed on real life entertainment.

Today I had a heart to heart with one of my students. The vice principal made him do it because of some, shall we say unflattering, pictures he drew of me. The conversation started out they way any other forced apology goes, "Sorry I did it, I know it wasn't nice, blah blah blah." After getting over the wave of emotion, I started to talk to him about his real problem about not do anything to earn his credits so he can graduate some time this year. His eyes glazed over with the heard-that-speech-before-so-I'll-tune-out-till-she-stops-talking look. I grasped at something to say before I lost him, and I mentioned that he was too good to be "stuck" here at school. I think that saying he was worthwhile struck a chord somewhere because his eyes misted up and he suddenly got interested what was going on out the window. And later that day he worked more than he has in an entire month. We'll see how tomorrow.

If you are interested, Lucky Number Sleven is a wonderfully quirky black action comedy, and the Inside Man is not to bad when want an intriguing bank robbery movie.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Garden Metaphor

2006-09-30T17:16:00.000-07:00

I am going to give this a shot. In my mind I know exactly what I mean, but sometimes I don’t really get it out clearly enough. Majoring in English, I learned to find allegories in everything - especially when it comes to gardening. I mean I knew the metaphors, but I never KNEW them until My Sweet got me actually gardening a few years ago. So here are a few things I have noticed.

1. The things that seem in the way can sometimes give us the shelter we need. We bought a huckleberry bush a few years ago - mostly because I thought it would be cool to have something that lends its name to a Finn and a Hound. However, over the past two years it has taken up an enormous percentage of our tiny garden plot. I mournfully thought we would have to uproot them in order to plant to grow some tomatoes and cucumbers - which have often failed in scorching California summers. We haven’t gotten rid of it and this year the sensitive, vine plants have interwoven with the Huckleberry branches, and the shade is actually encouraging growth.

2. Weeds are insidious, and if you do not pull them out quickly they will take root and spread. The weeds in our life really do need to be taken care of. However, as I mistakenly prematurely harvested some weedy looking green onions, not everything is bad for your - no demons found under each rock.

3. They say that if you like something, then it must be either bad for you or illegal. But some things that are good for you can be beautiful. Our eggplants and squash have gorgeous blossoms. And then they produce vitamin filled veggies.

4. Earlier I talked about my gardening philosophy and how it connects to how I deal with students. For those of you who are wondering, my Student stopped by a week or so ago and is doing well. Still clean and sober and getting ready to head to community college in the spring.

P.S. If I had my way I would reclassify a few things. Brussels sprouts would get a healthy dose of DDT, and dandelions would be cultivated for the ones that produce the biggest puffballs.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

A Red Day

2006-09-27T19:19:00.000-07:00

Today is red. Not the red of passion of garden ripe tomatoes, unless it is a tomato thrown passionately against a crumbling school wall. It is the red of rage, against students who take and take and when you can not give anymore they cuss you out for not helping. It is the red of a desert, from an administration that demands more on fewer resources. It is the red of eyes from a person who wakes up weary. I am weary today.

Do I Have a Life?

2006-09-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

Wonderful, supportive teacher that I am, I am spending my precious Saturday morning not listening to my favorite NPR shows and eating waffles, but I am watching a few of my boys play soccer. They will either think I am interested in them as people, or that I have no life.

It is totally God's fault that I am here. Now my students didn't know, as of Friday morning at school, when the game would start. My Sweet is not feeling well, so he is grouch and I had to get out of the house for a while. I ran a few errands, and yes garage saling is a necessary errand - I just got a nearly new dehydrator for $3. I pull to the field just as the boys were warming up. Total God's timing, but someone had better score some points.

Sitting on the nearly empty sideline is the aunt of a former student. He had been with us for only a couple of months, transferred to adult school and is now planning to transfer to Berkley. Sometimes we are an elevator lifting students a great chunk to their goal, and sometimes we are a toehold to the next step.

Why do we Americans love football when the rest of the world is passionate about soccer? Why do we play soccer only until we are old enough to graduate to football? I do not know, and to be honest I don’t really care why. There is a limit to how much energy a country can pour into sports, and we have chosen our four: football, basketball, baseball and reality TV competitions.

There are a few things I like about soccer, like it being a high-energy game. But what I like best is that a 90-minute game is just that - 90 minutes. No 15 minute quarters that last three fourth of an hour!

What I laugh about soccer is the injury drama. You see them trip over a blade of grass and they go down as if a pit-bull had taken out their Achilles tendon. American football players have been know to hack off a broken toe in order to keep playing. No whining on their part!

Well, I see that one of my students has scored a goal thanks to the set up of another student. I hope I scored as well.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Things I am told to say

2006-09-19T18:40:00.000-07:00

There are a few things that people have told me recently that they told me to put on my blog. And of course I always do what I am told, so here it goes.

FROM MY HUSBAND'S STRANGE LAND

TV novellas are just starting to hit the US airwaves, but they have been in place for quite a while in Mexico, and of course Japan. My Sweet has just had me watch the entire 15 hours, sorry 12 episodes, of a series called "Densha Otoko" (Train Man). It is about a totally sweet anime geek who musters up the courage not only to stop a beautiful woman from being mauled by an obnoxious drunk, but he also stuttered out a request for a date. The sweet thing is that Densha has an on line community where he pours out the honesty in his heart, and they help him step out of his geek-dom in order to get the girl, and then to embrace the action figure-collecting, voice-actor worshiping, comicon-season-ticket-holding geek that he is. And there are a surprising number of romantic lines where I slap my husband's knee and ask him why he doesn't say things like that.

But tell me this, why is it always the geek guy who gets the gorgeous girl? (How do you like this for a piece of alliteration?) Why not the geek girl going for the hunk? Or a couple enjoying their geek-appeal together? The answer has to be more than the male-dominated industry. I mean at least a third of the audience, who the sponsors need to appease, is female geek.

OBVIOUS METAPHORS

The other day I was meeting with a wonderful group of spiritually passionate women. (And I am not just saying this because I hope they are going to read and comment on this!) In the course of dinner and discussion I made a few metaphorical references. Refreshing Sunshine said that I had better put them in my blog. So here they are:

Comparison 1)Sheep are creatures that are not phased when one of their own is killed - much like us sometimes. But as soon as I said it, I knew it was cutting but not entirely true. The sheer numbers of massacres like in Darfur overwhelms us, but we also feel powerless to help. But we will encourage the hunting down a murderer and demand justice. And if the criminal is super rich and can buy off the system, we make it so uncomfortable that they leave the country.

Comparison 2)Figs are in their growing season right now. They are sweet and succulent, but the season is short. Once a fig tree was in trouble for falsely implying that it was in season, like it had it all together and could bring sustenance and sweetness. When we pretend that we have no trouble and all the answers, when we give out junk or fluff, that is when we are to be shamed.

Now here is a challenge for you. Think of Forrest Gump: Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you have until you take a big old bit out of it.

Take a word from group A and one from group B.

Group A
life
love
man
woman
education
TV
music
(your choice)

Group B
autumn
Disneyland
a mud puddle
a pair of shoes
Tarzan
earthworms
skydiving
(your choice)

Plug your choices in here and finish the sentence. Be sure to put your metaphor as a comment.

(Word A) is like (Word B) because ...

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Fun and Games

2006-09-15T18:08:00.000-07:00

I refrained from doing this at work. Pesky grading and lesson plans.

But if you need a break, enjoy. I now truly know that I will not be slaying a wild boar and living to tell about it. On another post I will try to talk about Lost as a TV show that expresses redemption and repentance better than many sermons I have heard.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Famous in Our Own Lunchtimes

2006-09-14T18:44:00.000-07:00

Wow, I have been tagged, by two people. Doodah! and Fruitful Words. I am not totally sure what that means, except that I get to write about things that talk about me. And maybe about you.

FAMOUS IN OUR OWN LUNCHTIMES

1. What do you like most about where you live?

I love the variety found in Northern California. I live an hour and a half from the beach, an hour and a half from the snow and the same distance from several redneck rodeos and hippy wineries. My husband went to a museum today, and I happened to notice that there were more than a dozen interracial couples - including us. Many places in the US and the world would give us a lot of sideways glances.

We can get authentic Italian, Mexican family restaurants. And not only do we have Japanese, Thai and Chinese, but we can also tell the cuisines apart. There are also Birkenstock wearing Republicans as well as leftwing "suits".

Also, recycling is so easy that I do not have to really work at it.

2. Is there anything strange about where you live?

My town is known for its weirdness. My dear friend Doodah! described it perfectly in this post. So I will send you there to read about our quirky town.

You can also check out our town's unique holiday.

3. What's one of your all-time favorite music albums, and why?

Sorry, can't limit to just one. It all depends on the chapter of my life.

As a little kid my first "album" - it was an eight track - was one of Sonny and Cher. My friend and I would be in the bedroom belting out songs that really were kind of too serious "or depressing for ten year olds to be singing. But heck, we didn't know. The songs "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves" or "Black Lady" were passionate, which lent themselves to being belted out. We didn't care a if "My baby shot me down" or that” I sneaked back and caught her with my man/Laughing and kissing till they saw the gun in my hand." Years later I had just moved to Romania and was missing my friends and totally testing how understanding my housemate would be by blaring Cher and Barry Manilow's Greatest Hits. These were two different tapes, but wouldn't that be a trip to watch live in concert?

In college I discovered the 80's revamp of hippiness, and along with that the beauty and convictions of Joan Baez and Peter Paul and Mary. More than that my friend Monica turned me on to a fantastic Christian singer of that era Larry Norman. He combined my desire for social justice with wanting things to be centered on God. He was also the first real Christian rock and roll artist. So I practically wore out "Only Visiting This Planet" as I meditated on what God wanted to do through me to make the world more the way He has originally intended.

In addition to these, U2's Joshua Tree, Born in The USA and anything by Barry Manilow. Nuff said.

4. Did you have a passion for something as a kid that you still have now? (If not - what is one of your passions now?

Like many bloggers, I love reading. As a child I could hardly wait until it rained, I would bundle myself up and go out under the roof of our porch with a mug of hot lemonade (I was not all that into hot chocolate) any my most recent library book. Even when we went camping, I would bring something to read in the great out doors. Yes, I hiked and looked at the gorgeous surroundings, but I also spent time breathing fresh pine scented air and finding out what happened to "My Friend Flicka" and "The Black Stallion".

The other thing I loved was daydreaming, especially if we were on our three-day drive to Grandma and Grandpa’s. Now I am not talking about imagining what I would do if I got the day off of school. I created entire plot lines with me as the main character, well not really me but a character of me, if that makes any sense. Maybe it was a sign of my young age or of my limited imagination, but most of my plots were using settings and characters from my favorite TV show or movie. I created shows for M*A*S*H or Charlie's Angles that included a 12 year old me.

5. What do you like most about having a blog?

The exhibitionist part of me enjoys writing about my life and thoughts knowing that some people will read and comment on what I say. There is also part of me that enjoys having a journal where I don't just spew onto a page. I have to think and edit what I am going to say, as well as once in a wile have something worth saying.

Pick 3 (or more) people and give them the opportunity to be Famous in Our Own Lunchtimes.
Here it goes: Dot, Plane and Simple, and My Sweet

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

What Fall are You?

2006-09-12T07:21:00.000-07:00

I love autumn, and thought this would be fun, but it is kind of depressing.

You Are Changing Leaves

Pretty, but soon dead.

What Part of Fall Are You?

I liked this one better.

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you.
Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible.
While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks.
Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.

What Color Green Are You?

But I took it again and got this answer

You Are Olive Green

You are the most real of all the green shades. You're always true to yourself.
For you, authenticity and honesty are very important... both in others and yourself.
You are grounded and secure. It takes a lot to shake you.
People see you as dependable, probably the most dependable person they know.

What Color Green Are You?

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Remember and Make This Day Count

2006-09-11T17:45:00.000-07:00

Today is a day of remembering. We remember those who died: people who thought it was a regular "let's go to work" day, people who knew they were heading into danger, people who have sadly died in bombings and battles everywhere.

We also need to thank and pray for those who still continue to serve, honest cops, firemen and protectors. These are men and women who every day come to work not knowing if they will lose a limb, their sanity, or their life. So please, when you see a hero, show them your appreciation.

My Sweet does a nice job of describing our experiences that day. He has never been a flag waver for either of his counties, but because of that day he searched for something to express his connection to America. Please check out his post.

Mourning for those who are gone is the necessary yet depressing part of this day. There is so much more. We are fortunate enough to be able to breathe and live. We can tell those close to us that we love them. We can stop and smell the roses, watch a sunset and grow as people. One of my students today asked me, "Why do we always wait until after someone has died to try to be nicer and enjoy life?" This is a time to examine our life and world. Are we living it to the fullest and are we making it the best that we can. I read a story to my class today about a man whose brother was a lawyer working near the Twin Towers. This brother had been an EMT at one point and borrowed a medical bag and went to help. They found the bag and brother six months later. As a result David Paine and his friend Jay Winuk have started a campaign to make September 11th a time to volunteer. This could be anything from taking your great aunt out to lunch or working for the Red Cross. Please go to MyGoodDeed.org and see how you might take up your part of the burden and joy of making this world more like the paradise God intended to be.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

My Town's Unique Holiday

2006-09-07T16:30:00.000-07:00

I live in a small college town. Every summer students take off for summer internships or mom's washing machine. For everyone but landlords this leaves an unbelievably peaceful place to walk at night and hear armature musicians. The landlords, on the other hand, loose three months of rent every year. So, the powers that be met together and decided to offer only year-long leases that begin on September 1st. Thus on August 31st about 40 per cent of the population packs all their possessions into moving trucks and begins a new chapter.

One of the results of this is an unofficial "Dumpster Diving Day". There comes a moment in every packer's day where you stand up and shout, "That's it! I can not take it any more! All this crap that is not boxed up is going to the dumpster!" This is where the diving comes in. Those of us not moving have a veritable smorgasbord of perfectly good free junk. You will see us in the afternoon and evening picking through these leavings. And in my town not only are the movers kind enough to leave the good stuff stacked neatly outside the dumpster, but also many of these divers have NPR blaring from our car stereo (including those in SUV hybrids).

Most years I come across some real find - like the cherry wood bed frame from last year, or a new in-the-box waffle iron. This year, however, was a total dud. I think we missed the critical time. The time that is late enough for the frustrated packers to put stuff out and early enough that you get there before the other divers. Instead My Sweet and I found out that we have different levels of pride/humility when it comes to what to "dive" for. Let's just say that I still contend that if the pie filing and soup is in a can, there is nothing wrong with it. But for the sake of marital harmony I left them there for some other, probably single, diver to enjoy.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

My Music Taste

2006-09-04T12:02:00.000-07:00

Look at the nifty function my pal doodah! showed me how to do! Well, her plus a lot of help from My Sweet.

I saw this on another blog.
Give it a try. I think this says that I have no taste. Or at least low taste.

Your Taste in Music:

80's Rock: Medium Influence
80's Alternative: Low Influence
90's Alternative: Low Influence
90's Pop: Low Influence
Classic Rock: Low Influence

How's Your Taste in Music?

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Fire and Ice soup

2006-09-02T22:32:00.000-07:00

Here is the soup like the one
I tried last Sunday at the Earl Grey Manor. It is really wonderful.

Fire-and-ice melon soup

6 c Cubed peeled cantaloupe; (about 1-1/2 pounds)
2 c Sliced seeded peeled cucumber
¼ c Honey
½ ts Grated lime rind
3 tb Fresh lime juice
1 ts Minced seeded jalapeno pepper
1 ts Ground cumin
½ ts Salt
1 ct Plain fat-free yogurt; (16-ounce)
1. Combine cantaloupe and cucumber in a blender or food processor; process until smooth. Pour half of cantaloupe mixture into a bowl. Add honey, rind, juice, and jalapeno to blender; process until smooth. Add cumin, salt, and yogurt; pulse until blended. Add to cantaloupe mixture in bowl. Stir well. 2. Cover and chill at least 1 hour or until thoroughly chilled. Yield: 6 servings The jalapeno pepper adds the "fire" to this chilled soup, though it can be omitted.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Arts Gratia Artis

2006-08-30T17:51:00.000-07:00

I think I have rested from my weekend of high and low art. You can decide which is which. Thursday, which is the new Friday, My Sweet and some coworkers with a concert by my favorite local band, the Bottom Dwellers. Watching talented men having fun in their creative element is one of the few moments when we are reaching human potential.

Saturday was spent in San Francisco. There were three main goals: to eat some "real" Japanese food, watch the dancing at a Japanese festival, and to explore some area we haven't been to yet. The first was a given, and in Japan Town there was an Bon Odori celebration. This was a celebration put on mostly by people whose parents or grandparents were the ones who actually danced the real thing in Japan. About a third of the participants knew then steps and almost half were not of Asian descent. There were several college age guys with their blond hair banded in a ponytail. My Sweet kept laughing and saying, "We never do like this in my country!” But over all people were smiling and joining in all the festivities.

I have to say though, the sighing of the day happened while we were exploring a new park near the Presidio. Floating before us was a flock of people on Segues. Obviously they were renting from the same company because they were wearing helmets and neon green "Hey don't shoot me" safety vests. Or were they? Maybe they are the reincarnation of the 80's group DIVO. As I was searching for a good image, I found out I was not the only one struck with this idea.

The last day of my weekend was definitely the classiest. Whoops, sorry, I said I would let you decide which was classy and which wasn't. Refreshing Sunshine and I went with two other gals to high tea, Gershwin and Escher. There is a wonderful tea restaurant in Old Sacramento that served up a wicked high tea. The decor was very 30's art deco, and we feasted on many tasty treats including a cold cucumber, cantaloupe and, get this, jalapeño soup. Yes, you read me right, jalapeño. There was just enough kick to balance to coolness of the cucumber and melon. After the refreshments, we went to the Crocker Museum to refresh our spirits with a piano recital. We were too late to get chairs, but we went upstairs which turned out to be better because dimensions were added because I could listen to Rhapsody in Blue while staring at masterpieces of Yosemite and Lake Tahoe. Then I got to check out the geometric mindbenders of Escher. Some people's brains work so beyond me.

Anyway, it is time to be off and enjoy another weekend.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

My work place soul mate.

2006-08-23T23:06:00.000-07:00

Finally, a teaching story that I can relate to! At least once a year I have to resist the urge to gather together all of those books and movies about how a teacher miraculously and single-handedly takes a rag tag group of young hoodlums and inspires them to reach inside themselves and turn their lives around - you know, ones like Dangerous Minds. I gather these stories of overly dedicated teachers together and then call on strength deep in my soul and somehow resist the temptation to chuck them all in the blender and puree the bajezus out of them. There are stories of perfect teachers, and I can not relate to them (check out the middle paragraph of this past column).

But I have found the greatest book called Teacher Man. This is the third book Frank McCourt has written about his life. The first was Angela's Ashes - one of the most touching book I have ever read. His descriptions of growing up in Irland had me in tears - on one page because it was truly horrid and on the next because I was laughing so hard. The second was about his journey to America, and was nothing to write home about. But so far this book has more than made up for the previous one.

In Teacher Man, McCourt talks about his experiences teaching. While most teacher memoirs talk about their successes, he shares his struggles and failures. This is a man I can relate to.

He was an English teacher, working with at risk - disinterested kids, and also wanted to write. It is encouraging to me that he got his first and huge book out at the age of 66. There is hope for me, even though I hope I do not have to wait that long.

I love the quote he uses in response to his late bloom as a writer:

I was teaching, that's what took me so long. Not in college or university, where you have all the time in the world for writing and other diversions, but in four different New York City public high schools...When you teach five high school classes a day, five days a week, you're not inclined to go home to clear your head and fashion deathless prose. After a day of five classes your head is filled with the clamor of the classroom.

He shares his struggles, faults, mistakes. There was one example where he wanted to comfort some students but believed that he would only muddle it, so he didn't. I would like to say that I would never act this way, but to be honest, I am not sure.

Don't think that this is a downer book - quite the opposite. By the end of his career in the classroom, he does get better. Again, there is hope for me.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

All's Faire

2006-08-21T19:39:00.001-07:00

My Sweet, who is not a small town boy by any means, humored my by taking me to the county faire. Bless his heart! He was a good sport.

There is nothing like a county faire. It's an open house for the entire area. Not showy, like the nearby State Fair, but one where you go to check out which high schooler grew the biggest heirloom tomato, what place Aunt Mildred's double dutch chocolate pound cake got, and of course the corndogs!

And let me tell you, the true goober time to go is Saturday early afternoon. The cool kids won't bring their dates there until after dinner, so it is mostly young families, senior citizens, and every FFA member in the entire county. I mean WoW! We watched a bit of the auction going on, and I do not understand how the auctioneers keep their lips from bursting into flames. I was a bit nervous in case I had to itch my nose nose - I may have ended up spending three hundred buck on a goat.

But the real action was the main stage. At two o'clock we got to watch performances from Miss Whaterdoozit's school of dance. Six-year olds tap dancing their little hearts out! Gotta love it. My Sweet was a little disparaging about it, but when our kids are up there, he is the one who will be there with the latest of recording devices to capture every moment.

So, if you haven't made it out to your county fair yet, go out and enjoy where you come from. And have a corndog on me.

Some Tid Bits

2006-08-18T13:19:00.000-07:00

Things have been very busy and quite jet lag-ish for me. So here are only a few things I have time to write about.

1.My husband has always bragged about the superiority of Japanese firework displays. The festival we went to ended in fireworks, and let me just say this. They aren't all that - if you are comparing them to fireworks co-produced by Donald Trump and Sir Elton John!

2.Frank McCourt is my teaching hero. There will be a later column on that.

Have a great weekend.

P.S. My Sweet doesn't think my attempt at subtle scarcasm didn't come across well. So please rest assured that I THINK JAPANESE FIRE WORKS ARE GREAT! IT WOULD TAKE THE FINANCIAL BACKING OF TRUMP AND THE DRAMATIC OVER THE TOP FLAIR OF SIR JOHN TO PUT ON ANYTHING THAT CAN EVEN COME CLOSE.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

A Few Final Impressions

2006-08-06T20:09:00.000-07:00

I would be remiss if I didn’t comment on a few more things about Japan.

The food:
The food here is not only delicious but also beautiful. However, it is not for the faint of heart. I have lived in Africa, Eastern Europe, and had roommates from the Deep South. I have to be honest and say that Japanese food is by far the strangest. I’ve had fish every way imaginable – broiled, dried, braised in sauces I can not begin to explain, and of course raw. Then there are the sea foods that My Sweet doesn’t know how to translate but says, “Eat it, it is good for you.
There is a lot of calcium in it.” Every day he asks, “If your mom comes, do you think she will like this?” It all depends on how adventurous she is that day.

Fashion:
For older ladies, hats are in. It is a hat shaped much like the crushable had of Gilligan.

For young people the bronzed look is in. They somehow achieve an unnatural copper tone. Add to that sparkly heels and bleached hair and you are ready for the clubbing scene of Tokyo. On the other hand, several young ladies are harkening back to the traditional yukata (cotton kimono). It reminds me of the resurgence of prairie dresses in the 80’s. (Yes, I wore them to a dance or two, and looked pretty darn cute, thank you very much!)

For every one little lapdogs are the in thing. This from a country that does not allow much room for pet or strays. But now it is in to have a cute little shi-shi dog that will fit in your tote bag. My mother-in-law, who coos over her friends’ dogs, says she would not get one because she would never be able to go anywhere. When I suggested leaving the dog outside, she said someone would steal him. They cost $1500-$1700! Jeese Louise, they are beautiful, but a dog should never cost more than a house payment.

Reading:
The Japanese language uses at least three different alphabets, and all in the same sentence! The freaks! I have spent the last two weeks being totally illiterate, and it has frustrated me to the point of wanting to stick a chopstick in My Sweet’s eye! When I lived in other countries where I didn’t understand the language, I could at least sound out words and look them up in dictionaries.

Now it is back to the craziness of the US.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Worth a Thousand Words

2006-08-06T20:01:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pictures to help show what I have been talking about.

Here is my mother-in-law’s toilet. After being naked with her, I didn’t fear hitting a panic button, so I did try them all. No music, but I did have the cleanest bum ever.

Here are the Jumping in Dancers.

“Jump, jump, to the top of the sky!
The sweat spatters, a joy rises up from inside
And our energy explodes.
A fierce surge of excitement…
And them comes the surge of sublimination.”

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

What a Time for a Festival

2006-08-05T23:32:00.000-07:00

My Sweet’s hometown hosts a yearly grand festival, the Nebuta Festival. This is a celebration of ancient legends gathered from Japan, China and India. Heroes are celebrated for fighting in battle against evil – be it a demon or human enemy. People sacrifice themselves for their friends, deities are able to strangle monsters, and loyal animals fight along side their masters to save humankind.

People from all over the country descend on the city for eight days of parades and fireworks. Months are spent creating floats, or Nabutas, that represent a key scene from one of the legends. They are fierce, intricate, and are illuminated during the night parades. They are also not motorized. Twenty or more men maneuver the floats, making it look like the mighty warriors are jumping and ready to attack the evil around you. The Nabutas are accompanied by massive drums and battalion of pipers and symbolists. During the two-hour parade the musicians do not stop; if a drummer gets tired, there is waiting to take his or her place. As impressive as this is, the best part is the dancing. These are people overjoyed with the idea of conquered evil, and they can not help but jump and sing. They simply jump in the parade wherever they like; My Sweet says they are aptly called Jumping In Dancers. Anyone can join in the dancing as long as they are wearing traditional clothes, which include bells pinned all around the body to add to the cacophony of music.

Most of these floats are massive and sponsored by major companies. Impressive to say the least.
But there are also neighborhood or school built ones called Children’s Nabuta. They are maneuvered by kids and their dads, and also have clowns and the like running around. In fact one of the brightest moments was when a “pirate” twisted a balloon sword and gave it to a 4 year old, whose little face simply radiated joy.

Loyalty, bravery, defeated evil, and a gift from Jack Sparrow, what more do you need to jump in and celebrate?

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Universals

2006-08-04T23:29:00.000-07:00

There are a few things that I think pretty much cross cultural boundaries.

* In one respect, my mother in law is much like Marie from Everyone Loves Raymond. Marie’s greeting was, “Hello dear, can I get you something to eat?” I have learned every variation of “Aren’t you hungry,” to fill an entire phrase book on this theme alone. And if My Sweet’s father were still alive I am sure he would be asking how the car is running and slipping him a bit of money every time we went out – for “emergencies”.

* Soap operas have a magnetic appeal. Right now my mother-in-law is drawn to some that come from Korea. Even though I understand neither Korean nor Japanese, I knew that Baby-Face guy loved both Doe-Eyed girl and All-Business gal, and struggled to know where his heart was. And it took no interpreter to understand what DE’s mother was saying when she thought BF had spent the night with her daughter (don’t worry, they had fallen asleep studying).

* Kids are cute. They just are, no matter where you go. The kids here are not too shy to look at the tall, blond, plus size foreigner. When I say hello to them, they usually hide behind their mother. But sometimes they will introduce themselves to me, being brave enough to shake my hand (or bow). Each time My Sweet whispers in my ear, “Aren’t you going to eat them?” He’s a bit strange sometimes.

* Though the amount expected to be spent differs, gift giving is important in society. And, it is usually left up to the women to take care of it. My Sweet says he doesn’t care, but I see him considering what we should bring from California for people. (FYI CA wine can be found here. We had gotten a bottle of Ironstone Wine and she already had a bottle. So much for hoping that a $10 bottle would be mistaken for something much more expensive. Yet another lesson in humility.)

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

You Wash My Back and I’ll Wash Yours

2006-08-01T20:22:00.001-07:00

This weekend my mother-in-law took me to my favorite place – the hot spa! My Sweet’s hometown is not very exciting, but it is known for two things: a festival I will talk about later, and being next to one of Japan’s best mineral hot spas. The water comes pure from the towering Iwaki Mountain. Here are a few things that stand out for me here:

* There is nothing like being naked with your mother-in-law to banish any inhibitions you may have. When you tenderly wash each other’s back to help you feel like the language barrier may prevent acceptance.

* It was great to be in a place where women were letting it all hang out with imperfections, even on the idealized models.

* Many women, including yours truly, have unnatural creases at their waste. What does that say about fashion and fascism?

* Going around the resort in a yukata (more than a bathrobe and less than a kimono) is fabulous. Very free. I can understand why Hugh does it – Heffner that is, not Jackman. But it is not clothing for taking great strides in. Instead I learned to do a kind of shuffle where you don’t separate your knees very much.

* Being au natural out in nature is for many reasons a very spiritual. You have fewer defenses to hide behind. And not being able to speak gives me more time to focus on our Creator.

* Besides the relaxation that comes from soaking in a hot mineral bath, there is a peace here and I think it comes from the search for spiritual truth. People can take a hike starting from the temple behind the resort and climb Iwaki. During this walk they get in touch with nature and the supernatural. Not as in spooky things jumping out of the underbrush, but that which is beyond the nature we can see.
Mother Theresa was once asked why she allowed Buddhists and other non-Christians to work for her organization. She said that she encourages Buddhists to be the best Buddhists, Muslims to be the best Muslims, and so on. By seeking the truth and fully looking into what they believe, people have to come to see the truth about God. I am glad God is in this place.

Ode de la Toilet

2006-08-01T20:22:00.000-07:00

It has been a very interesting couple of days. In Tokyo My Sweet and I spent time visiting an old friend as well as my sister-in-law. Our friend took us out for the real deal sushi, not the “California knock-off” version. He took us to an all you can eat place, for which I was terribly underdressed, that made everything fresh right when you order the next round. I know for many of you all-you-can-eat-sushi will mean an empty plate, but trust me when I say it was delicious. Our friend then accommodated my whim and took me to the place where they filmed part of a great reality show - the Amazing Race.

I know this is indelicate, but I must talk about something that everyone must deal with eventually on their journey to Japan. That, my friends, is the high tech toilet. In America I feel like I am in the shadow of Bill Gates if the toilet flushes automatically. That is a child’s elementary science project here. Not only do the toilets shoot up warm water to wash you backwards and forwards, but they also can blow you dry. There are ones that even have a button to push for a running water sound – thus being able to mask the business you were doing.

At the sushi restaurant, I ventured into the ladies’ room to do my business. After sitting down I spend some time reading the directions by the toilet paper. By reading I mean staring at the characters and pictures hoping something will magically come to me. Once in a while, this being an international metropolis, they’ll throw me an English bone. There could be a line like “Please wipe seat” next to some tissue and a picture of a well manicured hand wiping down the seat, and of course a cute little cherub hovering by it. The next picture is the cherub next to another facet (located near the paper) and the word “Push” with motion lines showing something (probably disinfectant) shooting out to the tissue held by Ms. Manicure. However, the cupid is positioned in a way that the product looks like Cupid’s fart. Now I do not know if it explains it or not, but I have a relatively important question: do I wipe the seat before or after I am done?
There are many other signs and buttons, some of which probably do the cool water sounds, or heck maybe even bird calls or Bing Crosby, but I was too nervous to try them for fear of accidentally hitting some kind of panic button that would send an assistant or manager in to see what was wrong.
Well, I finished what I had to do, got up and then panicked a bit – no automatic flush! Looking around I saw no visible handle to push! Oh my gosh – I did not want the next patron to have to see the business I had done! What to do? Well, out of some deduction and a lot of desperation, I pushed a button and was quite relieved to hear the toilet actually flush. There goes my business down the drain.

What adventure will tomorrow bring?

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Random observations about Japan

2006-08-01T20:20:00.000-07:00

Right now I am sitting at Starbucks (pronounced Starbuksu) enjoying a green tea frapiccino, and I want to share a few things I have noticed so far.

* The Japanese have customer service down to an art form. While in line for the aforementioned frapiccino, the clerk came out from behind the counter and with elegance of an accomplished dancer, presented us with the day’s menu. In other restaurants the waitresses kneel down as they place fine bone china in front of you.

* Japanese love good food. One sign of this is that a vast majority of their game and morning shows consist of people being shown food and eating it. I’m not talking about Fear Factor grossness. The contestants, usually TV personalities, compete in order to be able to partake in the delectables. And if they do not win, they put on quite the melodrama about the torture of watching the others eat.

* Recycling is paramount. When you live on an island nation, there is not a lot of room for landfill. So you must be very careful where you put your trash. It would be OK if there were pictures at the trash receptacles with a can or paper, but no they are marked in Japanese with images that look like squatting men with their hands in front of their eyes. I usually slip my garbage in My Sweet’s pocket and let him deal with it. When I was waiting for customs, I saw a young man being lead to an imposing looking back room. I bet it was because he threw his empty sake bottle in the wrong can!

* I got to ride the infamous Bullet Train. The take off was so smooth that it was like gliding through butter. Because of this lack of friction, you never know how fast you are going.

* Everything is a lush green, a huge benefit of the tropical humidity. And also every bit space is compactly used. Even the nooks and crannies are usually filled with a plant, which is good given that most people have no yard.

* I constantly feel like everything is just an inch or two too short – chairs, bus seats, sinks, etc. My thighs ache the first few days here because they are stretched when my knees are higher than usual (and often jammed against the seat in front of me).

* This high tech country has public telephones that talk. And not “Please deposit 60 cents,” but it actually thanks you for using it. My mother-in-law has one that calls out “You have a call” while it is ringing, which I think is a bit redundant. Now if it said, “You have a call coming in, and it is not from a telemarketer but from that cute guy you met at the market,” that would be pretty darn amazing. And I saw on TV that they have a stove that will talk to you. It reminds you that it is still on, or that something is about to burn. Pretty cool, especially considering my ability to get distracted during dinner prep.

What’ll they think of next? A milk carton that warns when it's expired?
Pens that signal a siren when it is about to leak or run out of ink? Who knows.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Where the streets have no name

2006-07-25T02:58:00.000-07:00

My Sweet and I have just finished over 14 hours of sitting in very cramped places. California to Japan. My body is saying, "Hey I need to move" while my brain is saying, "I am so fricking tired that I think I am going to stop telling the legs how to move."

During the 2 hour bus ride from the Tokyo airport to his sister's place, My Sweet kept saying things like, "I used to hang out there with my college mates," or "This is a new building." I said things like, "Oh really?" when I wanted to say, "Hey, I am sleeping here!"

I have just a few impressions of Japan (note that I have been here for about 3 hours and as subtly implied before - very sleepy). Everything is so much smaller here; My Sweet keeps saying, "My word, I don't remember things being this small."

And as for the title of this column. The streets often are the size of alleyways, and they usually do not have any posting of their name. So even people who are Japanese literate can get lost. And as a side note, it is very disconcerting to be in a place where not only do you not speak much of the language, but you can not even sound out the words. In other countries I have traveled, I could usually have someone write down the address and I was able to figure out the signs. But here, I can not even use a dictionary! Aarrgghh!!

If this seems to ramble incoherently, it is because I am about to fall asleep, but my husband is chatting with an old boss. So I am entertaining myself with the laptop instead of insisting they translate everything. Aren't I an understanding wife!

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Happy Birthday To You

2006-07-23T19:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my sister and I threw a party or my Dear Sweet Mother's 60th birthday.

It was a bit of a surprise for her - not the date or the guest list, both of which she had controlling voice in. The surprise was where - at the local bowling alley! Yes sir ee bub - we had a grand time knocking down some of the tenpins. What surprised most of the guests, who hadn't been in a bowling alley for a couple of decades, was the electronic board, which not only told you which pins you had standing, but also gave hints on how to throw your next ball, knew if you were right or left handed, and kept score. I loved that - no more having to remember how many extra points to add on for a strike or for a spare. The down side is that you can't cheat on your score.

The most enjoyable part for me as co-host was the "Who knows Rose best" trivia game. (Those were my questions, Mom even though Kris and I collaborated on narrowing down my original list of 60.) What made it especially fun was telling all her friends what Grandpa's versions of the answers had been. Here are a few examples:

Me: Question 10 - How old were you when you had your first kiss?
Grandpa: 14
Mom: I was probably 16. Who was there to kiss in Montana?

Me: Question 17: How many car accidents were you the cause of as a teenager?
Mom: 2
Grandpa: Yes, and it was the same car. And it had to be a Cadillac.

(OK, if it doesn't sound so funny, trust me, in my head it is hilarious!)

And of course this is a bit sappy, the truly best thing was to see how many people were willing to come out to honor an amazingly wonderful woman who taught me everything about strength, love and faith. Happy birthday Mom.

P.S. My Sweet and I are heading out bright and early tomorrow to visit his mother in Japan. So, for the next two weeks my postings may be even more sporadic than usual. Until then, Sayonara Baby.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

ye ol' blogge

2006-07-20T13:44:00.000-07:00

Whan that aprill with his shoures soote
The droghte of march hath perced to the roote,
And bathed every veyne in swich licour
Of which vertu engendred is the flour;

English geeks unite! What English major didn’t have to, sorry get, to memorize this part of Chaucer’s prologue. If that is not enough, then check out his blog! (Thanks Dot) Yes you can check out what he thinks about life today. (His today is our yesteryear, so there may be some time/space continuum issues here.) You can check out glossaries, biographies of the time, and you get to know little known rumors such as his secret life as a pirate – complete with a parrot and an eye patch. (I thought you’d like that doodah!)

Speaking of writers who have spent time in the United Kingdom, Bill Bryson has royally pissed me off! I love his stuff – he has a wonderful perspective on quintessential life. So I figured that a book about a road trip to find out about small town life would be a perfect read. The only reason I have not put this book down (other than a quirky inability to not finish a book I have invested in reading 10 or more pages) is that I keep hoping that at some point he will stop talking like an angst ridden Goth teen. Every place he goes is a major disappointment for him, too touristy and tacky or boring. DUH! Tacky and touristy is a big part of small town life. However, it is jsut the surface stuff. Everyone knows that the real value of American small towns is getting to know the people. How in the name of Aunt Millie is he going to do that by spending less than 3 hours in any one place! You Euro snob! And the kicker that got me today was when I read that he found the Giant Sequoias ugly and boring! Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? If he had bothered to, oh I don’t know, maybe walk a little bit away from the parking lot, he might have found what he wanted - the tree that you could drive through. Plus the regal beauty of the trees. Or if he went on a ranger lead walk. Oh but wait, that would require actually spending time there. Sorry, he just really really irritated me today. I will now have to renew my joy by reading some of his later – and way more insightful books like this one or this.

However, there was a great line in one chapter where he exclaimed: “(The town) had been eaten by strip malls.”

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Sorry I have been away

2006-07-17T17:17:00.000-07:00

I know, I should have called, or at least let people know that I was going to be out for a while. I will never do it again. Cross my heart and hope to live.

This week My Sweet and I went to my favorite camping spot among the Giant Sequoia trees. As you look at this picture, keep in mind that I am almost six feet tall and not of a slender build. So these trees are enormous. "The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness," John Muir.

Back in the day pieces of the trees were sent to the World's Fair, but no one believed that trees this big, stumps big enough to use as dance floors, were real. They called them the California Hoax. All I can say is that J.R.R. Tolken had never seen them, or they would have been King of the Ents. If Peter Jackson could take creative liberties and have the elves come to Helms Deep to assist in battle, then he could have done a greater service and created some Giant Sequoia as Ents.

This has been a bit of the process for replenishing the reservoir of my soul.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Where I am From

2006-07-02T14:40:00.000-07:00

"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion.And medicine, law, business, engineering - these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love - these are what we stay alive for.”

This is one of my favorite quotes from the film The Dead Poets Society. I especially used it when my engineering major friends would wonder why the university even had an English major.

One of my fellow writers showed me this exercise that focuses on tangible things from our past. It is really quite easy when you follow the form. In doing the exercise, however, we discovered that life is too big to put into one poem. You have things from your childhood, the emotional teen years, college, Mom's side of the family, Dad's influence, and what not. Every day new memories and ideas come up. So, I think I may have to put the date in the title because they are the images that impressed me on that particular day. This weekend I took a stab a writing my own focusing on the pre high school years.

I challenge you to write your own Where I Am From poem and post it (you can put it as a comment). It is easy when you use this template

Where I Am From in Early July, 2006

I am from easy listening and beach music,
NPR and Paul Harvey’s The Rest of the Story;
From refrigerator muffins and Chef Boyardee’s Stuffed Raviolis;
From neighborhood games of snipe hunts and midnight hide and seek;
And from riding bikes all over town.

I am from Howdy Doodie and the Electric Company,
From M*A*S*H and Mork and Mindy;
I am from milk and Pepsi, rainbow suspenders and hiding from Sleestaks and Tyrannosaurus Rex;
And I am from all manifestations of William Shatner -
Star Trek, TJ Hooker and Rescue 911.

I am from the raspberries in Grandma’s garden,
Sweet firm cherries from the roadside stands,
And from frosted cakes with jellybean eggs and coconut dyed to look like Easter Basket grass.

I am from telling the same family stories over and over,
From “Do you remember the time when your brother pissed off your sister and she cut off his hair?”
And “Mom, that’s my story and you’re telling it wrong!”
And from “If your sister tells The Licorice Story again, I am going to puke.”

From the “Clean up your plate because people are starving in Africa,”
and “Don’t worry, things can be replaced but people can’t.”

I am from grounded in the Bible, saved by grace, liturgical Lutherans
From communion wafers, hymnals and the eternal flame.

I am from good Midwestern stock, Norwegians and Oakes,
From the mother who was willing to pick up Crazy Karen at the train station at four in the morning in another town,
The sister who stole your licorice yet made sure you got your handmade clock from Grandpa,
And from parents willing to drive three hours to pick you up at the air port even though you forgot to write some of the minor details like the arrival time, airline, and city of departure.

I am from pioneers and sea travelers,
A grandma who took off across the West to find a better life,
And another who hopped a train to California to marry the man she loved,
From people leaving for somewhere new, yet always remembering that
Home is always the place where you can always be yourself.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Playing

2006-07-02T11:58:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine mentioned in her blog that she has a hard time knowing how to play. This set me to some serious thinking about what it means to play. So much of our childhood games have origins that were very purposeful. Think of Mother May I or Simon Says, teaching children manners of asking permission and doing what they are told. Sports are training for endurance, good for hunting and battle. And lets not forget playing house and Easybake Ovens for preparing for the running of a house and capture the flag are great for developing strategies. I am not sure what hide and seek or the Hokie Pokie do, but if I thought about it long enough I could figure it out.

So if playing is really training, what it the difference between work and play? In Mark Twain's Tom Sawyer, there is the famous scene where Sawyer gets his friends to do the chore of white washing the fence by convincing then that it is fun. Sawyer then makes a mental note that "Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do." Obligation, makes me think of duty and judgment.

Things we enjoy - cooking, painting, carpentry, can be work or fun - attitude is the thing. Play is freedom to make mistakes and messes. Play is not worrying about the purpose. Let spirit or imagination run amuck. Look goofy, have game night, splash on the beach. Playing means not having to look good, but it is also ok to have winners and successes.

Wow, what a bit of philosophizing. Sorry about that. I am now off to find out what the Hokie Pokie is all about.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

Shock and Awe

2006-06-28T12:59:00.000-07:00

Being home during the day has given me plenty of opportunity to be shocked by things in the media. This isn't including the sparks between Star Jones and the View. It does, however include Martha Stewart. I was toggling between The View and Martha's show when I hit the "Ask Martha" - you know, when studio audience members can ask her questions and glean pearls of wisdom. Now if it were me, I'd ask her how it felt to be a scapegoat sacrificed to get the media's focus off of more powerful men. But it wasn’t me, so someone asked her what her least favorite household chore was. Cleaning gunk out of the oven? Getting rid of nasty soap scum? Organically killing garden slugs by hand? No, it was delegating jobs to others! What the heck?!? She would rather clean the grease bunnies from under the fridge herself instead of kicking back and playing Dance Dance Revolution? She is either a big fat liar or a maniacal control freak. Either way she has a serious problem and needs to come over to my house and learn how to relax a bit. (Or if she has an uncontrollable need to clean my house, I will willingly delegate any job she is compelled to do.)

The other shock I has this week was more of a personal revalation. I was listening to NPR on Sunday, experiencing a driveway moment, when I discovered some hardness in my heart. The piece was on an amazing support orginization for released sex offenders that has radically reduced recidivism (70% lower repeat offences). In Ontario a group of Mennonites have taken seriously God's command to love the unlovable. Their motto is restorative justice, and they truly live out the Christian belief of unconditional love and forgiveness—tempered with foreboding. In the Gospels Jesus shocked and offended people of the church by hanging out with the untouchables of the day - hookers and organized criminals. Sex offenders are untouchables in my mind. My heart says these people have destroyed the lives of innocents at such a deep level that nothing less than castration and separation from society is what should happen to them. But these Mennonnites are living out God's word and helping there to be fewer victims as well as reaching out to people who need God. They do this by instead of pushing the men away from society; they hook them up with an accountability group that will monitor where he is as well as how he is doing so he refrains from situations where he may be tempted. Please check out this web cite to read about this Courageous Community: Circles of Support and Accountability

On a lighter note, I was shocked by how much I enjoyed the movie Cars. I am in love with Mater the Tow Truck - as in Tow-Mater. Grab a kid and enjoy a fun afternoon with Pixar.

Joie de Vivre ~ A Hearty Joy of Living!

hoping for a summer draft

2006-06-26T08:12:00.000-07:00

I am sitting outside on a bright summer morning enjoying my lovely yet scatterbrained garden - at 6:30 AM on a day when I do not have to go in for work (and the only kid I have at this point is my 36 year old husband who is totally capable of getting his own breakfast). And why, you may ask. Because this will be the only time before 11:00 PM when it will be less than a bazillion degrees outside. So if I have any hope of breathing fresh air it will have to be now.

Sometimes I have these random thoughts run through my head - like why does our society deify entertainers? Is it because we have no royalty and therefore have to create our own? Or who gets to decide what fashion trend is happing for the coming year; I mean really who has all that power and why is it them. Don't they have anything more real to do other than to decide that this year teal is the new black? And who was the first person to figure out that artichokes are delicious to eat, I mean they are not particularly easy to figure out. But did you know that they are the buds of a fine, purple flower? I found this out when I forgot one that I had picked. Even though it was left at the bottom of a bag, it found nourishment somewhere to bloom before totally dried out.

Finally, I truly hope this heat goes down soon. My Sweet and I are quickly going through the list of places that have both free Wi-Fi and air-conditioning. And the thermometer is creeping up, so I need to go inside now.

Find The Theme If You Can

2006-06-22T18:10:00.000-07:00

Today I have a lot of random things I have going through my mind to put down on paper (so to speak). I do not know if there will be any big connecting point, but by the end of this column, who knows.

I have been carpooling to a conference with a bunch of people I didn’t really know, and they fascinating. I have gotten to know a man who calls himself a Left-wing Bible Thumper. LWTB prefers to wear organic cotton, peppers his speech with Yiddish or Greek mythological vocabulary, and rides his bike the 20 miles to work rain or shine. He is one of those rare people who is a critical thinker, who does his research, has strong opinions that he is willing to share, however he is never pushy and actually has two way discussions. He has also published several books, one of which is said to, “resonate with theological mischief, moral depth, and literary joie de vivre,” (I had to look it up, and it means a hearty joy of living – I love this and must find a way to incorporate it even more in my life!)

When I was camping with My Sweet, we had nightly campfires, usually fueled by downed pinecones. Usually they got so hot the tips got so hot they were white. In the deeper crevices were canyons of creamy crimson. It made me think, “The people who made those fake frosted trees back in the 60’s, this is what they should have been going for.” There is something innately beautiful about contained danger., immense passion. To me this is what Christmas is about, immense passion contained and beautiful.

Summer Solstice: Week my Grandpa and his Honey came out from Arkansas to visit, so we were all together and telling family folklore. However, I can not tell you any of these because we, my sister Lucy Van Pelt and I, are going to use some of them in my Dear Sweet Mother’s birthday game, so you will have to wait until next month.

Well, that is all I have time to say right now. Well, actually I have the time, but my butt is asleep so it is time for me to go.

The Air That Angels Breathe; or Reviving an Egyptian Mummy

2006-06-17T10:46:00.000-07:00

I am burned, blistered, and smell of smoke. My shoulders are sore, knees are scraped, and my feet may never forgive me. Man am I totally loving it. Yes, I have been camping with My Sweet at Lake Tahoe. Mark Twain, in Roughing It , described campin at Tahoe like this:

"Three months of camp life on Lake Tahoe would restore an Egyptian mummy to his pristine vigor, and give him an appetite like an alligator. I do not mean the oldest and driest mummies, of course, but the fresher ones. The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be? -- it is the same the angels breathe."

Our first day there My Sweet and I went on a truly gorgeous hike from our campground to Emerald Bay, very aptly named for the pure turquoise and blue of the bay's water. Because of this years late spring weather, we were there before the flowers were budding, but to balance this there was a remarkable lack of flies and mosquitoes. The hike was true to its label of moderate (we have been fooled by outdoorsy ranger types before) and skimmed the lake's edge. The trail ended at Vikingsholm a "cabin" that was built after the fashion of Scandinavia. I just love when there is a way to give props to my Viking ancestors. Go Norway!

On our way back, I kept thinking of the song lyrics, "But I would walk 500 miles/And I would walk 500 more/Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles/To fall down at your door" But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, after walking 10 fantastic, soul invigorating miles, there is no way on God's green earth that I am going to walk 100 times that for anything less that the salivation of an entire continent, and I am talking a really populated one, you know with China and India in it. During the last half mile or so, My Sweet, who whenever I ask him what he is thinking answers "Nothing", decides to suddenly get philosophical. I know he had a lot of time on his hands while he rested, waiting for me to catch up, but jeese Louise - the last stretch of a wonderfully long day of constant movement, all I am pondering is if the cold beer at the camp is 15 minutes or 30 minutes away.

Before I sign off, I have to comment on the wildlife here. These animals are fearless! Down at the beach I saw a goose come up to a pudgy little toddler and with bill aimed tell the hapless child, "Your gram cracker or your life!" Another time we had a dive-bomber blue jays spear the heart of our butter cube. But my favorite animal show was this chipmunk who decided to check out what we had on top of our bear canister. Now these are huge metal canisters over five feet tall that were designed so that bears would not attack your food supply, and to keep out other critters. Well this little feller grabbed on to the lower part of my bike chain, hoisted himself up to the top part of the loop, scrambled to the seat, and then after a moments consideration hurled himself towards the top of the canister. On his first attempt he could not get a secure grasp after his leap, and fell to the dust below, but this did not dissuade him. He made the same grab, hoist, scramble, and lunge again and made it. I almost wish there had been more up there than a bottle of oil and drying dishes.

Well, I have to go. My Sweet says there is something exciting happening in the World Cup right now. And the U.S.A. is playing Italy, so I had better go and cheer them as much as possible.

Where All The Women are Strong and All the Men Goodlooking

2006-06-11T17:51:00.000-07:00

This ending of the week was dedicated to things I love to do that others may consider dorky, borderline fogeyish.

It started on Thursday when I attended a yuppie version of a Stars Hollow moment (quintessential small town quirkiness that can be found anywhere if you look for it). My Dear Sweet Mother, Refreshing Sunshine, My Sweet and I went to a gala hosted by the local National Public Radio, celebrating the opening of A Prairie Home Companion. The crowd would never have been mistaken for 50 Cent groupies - or Swtichfoot fans for that matter. I am sure that we will show up on one of NPR's PR material to prove that people less than fifty years old really do listen to them. There were two people who were probably younger than us, but with their preppy striped skirts with lmatching waistcoats and no nonsense haircuts, they were early twenty-somethings with forty-something souls. The others in the audience were sixty-somethings with fourtish-souls, so it worked out well.

This extravaganza included a wonderful homage to a PHC/Midwestern spread - complete with noodle hotdish and jello with fruit. They also were sure to include servings of powder milk biscuits and ketchup, two fictitious sponsors of the PHC radio show. And of course there was a raffle (very Midwestern) and an auction (very NPR). The raffle was a hit, mostly because Refreshing Sunshine won something. For a buck a shot you have a chance to win something kind of cool for next to nothing. You gotta know the value of a dollar, so what's not to like about a raffle.

The auction, on the other hand, did not go over so hot. Granted the auctioneer admitted that she was not a professional, but she as an NPR professional should have known how hard it is to get people to donate hard earned money, especially people who listen to radio shows that revel in Midwestern values like knowing how to hold on to your money. Don't start the bidding at $300. Three hundred dollars, my goodness do you know what you could get for three hundred smackers if you shop right?!? Plus there was no entertainment starting way up there. If someone is going to shell out a bunch of money there needs to be drama. Is the woman in the pink outfit going to outbid the balding man? Is the wife going to convince her sugar daddy to make another bid? Or is the wife going to let him know where he'll be sleeping tonight if he goes any higher? That is what we want in an auction. Then it gets down to the final two bidders who have a secret rivalry between themselves and they sure as heck are not going to let the other out do him. That is how you get your high-end bids that exceed $300. But we want to be a part of it, so start at $10 so we have some fun before we prudently bow out and watch the others act out the drama.

The movie was for the most part, excluding Lindsay Lohan and The Dangerous Woman storyline, quite enjoyable. "What a kind of flat recommendation is that?" you may be asking. Well, to give it higher praise would go against the grain of Prairie Home Companion. That would be considered putting on airs. The stories told in the back stage portions of the film were wonderful slice of life humor that Garrison Keillor is known for giving his audience. So go enjoy a film that is like sitting in on some old friends sharing the stories of their lives.

Graduation

2006-06-03T17:39:00.000-07:00

Last week was our final graduation for the 2005-2006 year. From a school that has less than 50 students at any given time, our celebration of 18 students is a whoppingly huge class. Being a small school gives the graduation ceremony a personal touch. There isn't a valedictorian speech given by the head cheerleader or class president (You know, the same people voted most popular). At our school each student has a staff member write a person speech about them, and friends and family have a chance to stand up and say something to the graduate.

This time I had to give five, yes count them five, speeches. Some of them were tributes to students that I chose, and others were students that were assigned to me. The latter are a little harder to do, let me tell ya. You quickly run through the pat info: when they came to the school, their favorite memory (one student told me it was the weekends), where they plan to go for their future (the Rap world, what out!). You want to say things like, "You have to be commended for reaching this milestone of life, especially considering that you came to class stoned most days." Or, "We are so happy that you have finally reached the point where you can move on from this institution of education to the next chapter of your life. Very happy. So very, very, very happy! You can't believe how happy we are." But you can't. You'll have moms crying and dad puffing their chests and little kids who admire their big brother or cousin for graduating. So instead we bust out the lines that are for the most part true. Then the big day comes and you see them up on the stage in their caps and gowns, striking an I'm-an-adult-now pose, and you almost forget all the annoying pranks - the colorful expletives scratched into your desks, breaking locks off the closets just to show they can do it, overhead transparencies that mysteriously end up in the trash. Instead you mostly think of the good times, when you asked a student for help moving something and they quickly agreed, when they offered you a bite of their candy bar, or when you overheard them actually studying. ("No, Odysseus' son was named Telemachus, you *@#&#@$ dumb ass.")

In our predominatly Latino school population, one graduate was fiercly of Irish descent. An outstanding memory of him was during the town's youth talent show where he wore a kilt while singing a punk song. I was actually expecting to see him in the kilt under his robe. As he walked across the stage, his youthful troup all shouted "Oy!"

Anther student was a pure delight to speak for. She went on and on about how her hero was her mother. She wanted to be sure the speech said something like this: "Mom, you were there for everything, even things I thought you wouldn't be there for. You had to raise four kids on your own. There were a lot of little things that you did and we didn't seem to notice, but we did. And knowing what I do now about money, how hard you have to work for it and how quickl it gets spent, I don't know how you did it. You are my hero." Talk about moms earing up! I almost couldn't go on.

After the ceremony, I saw a bunch of the boys leaning up against one of their muscle cars. I could almost hear the movie voice over, "And there we all were, looking at the bright uncertainty of the future. And though we all went our own way, there is a part of us that will always be bonded together; a bond that will serve as a touchstone for the turbualnt time ahead" And if they have listened to their English teacher, they will be able to write that screen play. but more likely it will be a from-the-streets rap song.

One of my coworkers mentioned that for teachers, this time of year is better than Christmas. Not so much because of the time off, but because it is a feeling of completion. The year is wrapping up, you can look back and see what has been accomplished, and anticipation is forming for next year. He is so right. But to be honest, I am looking forward to sleeping past 5:00 and seeing first hand that David Letterman and Connan O'Brian are still alive and well.

Duck Bill Butt Boy

2006-05-27T12:43:00.000-07:00

Friday night was another great example of why I love living in my town. It was a girls' night out. After a dinner of BBQ and potato salad with wasabi mustard and no dill pickle, Refreshing Sunshine and I went to see a local band playing in the Plaza. The handbill said that the band played folk music, so Peter, Paul, Mary and Joan, here we come ready to find answers in the wind and give peace a chance. It turned out that the folk songs were actually from around the world with a strong Swedish and Brazilian slant. And there was quite a bit of mumbling banter that would end with something like, "...so I thought I'd write a song about it."

The thing I like best about doing local shin-digs with Refreshing Sunshine is that we both love people watching, and our town can get very Stars Hollow-ish in that there is an eclectic congregation of people being themselves. The most outstanding person of the evening was Pink Sari Woman. She was an older, Caucasian lady dressed to the nines in a bright pink sari. This woman had massive surges of energy and would dart about the entire plaza like she is trying to catch up with a friend she feared hadn't seen her. But she never caught up with these phantom friends. And the thing that cinched the image in a wonderfully contrasting way was that half the time she had a cell phone glued to her ear.

However, the stars of the evening were a ragtag troupe of munchkins getting their groove on. One little toddler was bee-bopping his behind off. And his behind was quite prominent because he had around his waist a visor headband, turned around so it looked like a bright blue duck bill just above his backside. Then there was the 8 year old Choreographer who was running around positioning the other little girls. There was even a point where, I kid you not, she turned to the band and tried to tell them what to play - "Something in three fourths time, and let's pick up the tempo a bit." And finally there was a mass of children who probably started playing Farmer In The Dell, and when the cheese stood alone they all thought it would be fun to stay in a blob and shuffle around the dance stage, with other children globing on even though they did not know why.

As we were beginning to tucker out, we decided to drive home. On the way we saw a line snaking around the movie theater. It only took us a few moments to realize that the Town Geeks were out in force to see the premier of X-men.

They Stole My Name

2006-05-24T16:38:00.000-07:00

Mon O'Boy am I pissed! Someone has stolen the name I was going to use! Penn Jillett, of Penn and Teller comedy magic team, has just named his baby boy Zoltan Penn Jillett. It is a good, common, Hungarian name that means "chieftain". Now I am not saying that I would name my child this - I would have to shell out a lot for the poor boy's therapy once he hits junior high. No, no, no, I have always wanted to name my dogs Zsolt and Zoltan. They sound like the names of Norse warrior gods. You know, the kinds that throw lightening bolts and rip seams when they flex their bulging biceps. Dobermans and Rottweilers would deserve these kinds of names. Now My Sweet wants to have two big dogs as well, but being the lovable geek that he is, he wants to name them Chewie and Indiana. Maybe if one of them is blond and shaggy, maybe. But that is a big maybe.

Since I am on a roll with irritating things, since when have we, in our common day language stopped using the word healthy and substituted it with healthful? It seems like I woke up one day a few years ago and the word healthy ceased to exist. We now have healthful diets and swimming is a healthful exercise. I am not all that fixated on health per say, but it seems like discarding a perfectly good word.

And while I am at it, I want to know who decided that dandelions are evil weeds that need to be exterminated? Come on, they are cheery, bright yellow flowers that make dandy teas and wines (get it, dandy/dandelions). And you get the delightful pleasure of blowing the puffy white seeds. "Now just a darn minute," you may say, "Dandelions are incredibly invasive plants that will take over your entire yard if you let it." This is true, but can Morning-glories and mint plants, and you don't see commercials with Mr. T selling you mint extermination chemicals, now do you?

Any way these are just a few of my musings.

Being Human

2006-05-20T18:54:00.000-07:00

Sorry that it has taken me so long to write. I have been working on half a dozen speeches for this week’s graduation. I get to stand up in front of a crowd and express how these, shall we say fine young men and women, yeah let's say that, are ready for the next chapter. By the time I get home I am on total computer composition burn out. Below is a blog that I started a few days ago.

Maybe it is the fact that school will be out in 9 class days. (Now it is 7) Not that I am counting down the minutes or anything. I find myself really relishing things that help me be a person before I am a teacher. So if several of my entries seem to go along these lines, sorry but that is where my mind is going. I gotta remember who I am beyond my titles. Here we go, sit back and enjoy.

Last Saturday was another art walk in the nearby Capitol, and My Sweet and I decided to go. We didn't stay long because our favorite local artists were gone. So on the way back to our town, My Sweet reminded me that in the main park they were showing Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. This was the original; sorry Johnny Depp, I have truly loved watching you develop ever since 21 Jump Street, but you are no Gene Wilder. Gene's portrayal was a wonderfully snide remarks about it social ills. I wonder what good ol' Roald Dahl (or Rollie-kins as we close friends like to call him) would put if he wrote the story today. Cell phone etiquette, smoking vs. non-smoking, or doing sweet nunchuks moves.

Well, I still have 3 more speeches to go, so I will sign off for now. But if you click on only one link in this entry, make sure it is this one. I went to a game night and my dear friend did a wonderfully hilarious blow by blow. So check it out.

Mother's day

2006-05-14T20:06:00.000-07:00

It has been a wonderfully busy weekend. Started with Friday evening going with my Wonderful Neighbor to a small town art walk. This was also at the same time as a near-by festival of caring for the earth and wearing a lot of tie-dye. I was hoping to be able to observe pretentious sub-urbanites mingling with the granola crowd. Unfortunately there were not many people out and about in the galleries, but in the plaza there was a local girl band playing doo-wap and Santana. They were truly fun, giving out glow in the dark toys to people with enough free spiritedness to get up and dance. Several of these prizes were probably taken by the musicians' grandkids. Yes, these people in the girl band were well into their time of enjoying life. And they dressed more like biker chicks than the suited up doo-wap groups they were covering. In the audience people, yuppies and granolas, enjoying themselves. What a great way to enjoy the evening.

Another thing this weekend was the finish of the Julie/Julia book. Now, did I read this book because I could relate to a woman stressed in her job and struggling to do something significant? No, well sort of, but primarily no. I want see what someone went through to get their blog made into an honest-to-god published book. Yes, I am a glutton for punishment of reading or watching movies about people who excel at something I want to do. Last year, as a new teacher in an at risk school, I had to let go of the idea that they are going to make a movie about me - how a lively young-ish teacher comes in and totally changes the lives of her students by inspiring them beyond their wildest dreams. Yes, Michelle Pfeiffer will never play me. Maybe I will become a world renowned writer, revered by millions, and maybe even a tincy bit worshiped by a small group of out of the box intellectuals. Maybe I will have Pfeiffer play me after all , or maybe Rosie O'Donnell, or even better Rosie Perez.

And of course Sunday was a day spent with My Dear Sweet Mother. My Sweet and I got a slow start - weariness is contagious. Fortunately my sister, who is now a mother of three wonderfully unique kids, was even later. True to my redneck home town fashion, we went to the buffet at the Indian casino. It was classic to see a bunch of grannies who were bussed in to celebrate the day by playing the slots. Couldn't tell if they were hunched over to protect their buckets of quarters, or osteoporosis. If only we could have come a few weeks later to see Cosby or Heart. (Yes Mom, I know when you read this that you are going to explain away all the reasons why we went there. They are very good reasons, and it was a great time. It was just funny to walk through the smoke filled room, past the 3 non-smoking slot machines and seeing all the old women there on mother's day.) It was a great day to visit the family.

My Celebration of Time

2006-05-08T19:03:00.000-07:00

Just recently my birth month passed. Now I do not actually celebrate my birthday all month long, but I used some of my gifts this weekend, so this opening seemed like a decent segue into this topic. Actually it woudl be a leade into the the topic, not a segue. Anyway, I was very blessed with three very different and wonderful celebrations this year.

Celebration 1: THE FAMILY
Just before my birthday my family came from a tri-county area to take me out for a great dinner. My sweet mother got me a fabulous leather jacket. And true to her form, as I tried it she went into detail about what a beyond amazing deal she got on it. (A $200 value for less than a hard cover book - way to go Mom!) My very Talented Sister has made me something, which should be finished soon. If not it will make a very lovely Labor Day gift. But one of the best gifts was to see one of my students working his tail off at the resturant, being the responsible and respectable guy that he can be.

Celebration 2: THE TRUE BLUES
Every 2nd Saturday My Sweet and I go on a city wide art walk and even have a few favorite artists we talk to each time. (Check out Lora Watts and Dianne Poinski) I got to wear my very hip and metropolitan leather jacket when my true blue friends went with me this time and humored me as we went to several different galleries and admired the art, marveled at the pretentiousness, or mocked those pieces where you say, "Oh my gosh, what was the artist thinking? Was this made by a Muppet on crack?" Then we went to dinner and I got more presents: a huge and fully loaded crochet basket from Wildly Creative Woman, a set of water color supplies from Refreshing Sunshine, and a gorgeous hippy artist's style bag from Fellow Fanilow. This weekend I nearly finished making my shawl from Creative Woman's basket, and did some just for fun watercolors.

Celebration 3: MY SWEET
Just a bit later My Sweet took me to our well loved spots in my favorite city of San Francisco. With my new bag I looked very much the hippy chick. We enjoyed good weather, sights and food. We also spent too much money at the greatest used record store in the universe.

All in all it was a very great way to spend time celebrating life, friendship, family, creativity, and of course a fabulous bargain.